So I melted Tupperware. You know how I don’t have a microwave, right? I know what you’re thinking: “For someone so dumb, that sure is dumber.” I know. I’m trying not to reach dumbest (there was a movie about it). I just needed to heat up my leftover eggs (I made too much the other day), and I thought it would be quick but I ended up graduating from dumberdom.
Sometimes, my belt talks to me. It was in my first 2-bedroom flat that my belt broke. I never mentioned this, but it was saved by only one whole. It broke on the PENULTIMATE hole. In other words, when it broke the main part of the belt still retained ONE hole. And that hole is its lifesaver. So I walk around with a little piece of belt (smaller than the distance between holes on a belt) jutting out of the buckle. Sometimes it talks to me. It says “Get a new belt.” But I pretend I can hear talking belts.
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