Saturday, November 22, 2008

UPDATE - November 21, 2008

November 21, 2008

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” -MLK

My friend made a commercial about Doritos I believe. I haven't watched it, but enjoy.

Notice to All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

1.All salespeople will be pooling their sales commissions into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake."

2.All hourly employees will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.

3.All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to us.

4.The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all."

5.The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic."

6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. Don't feel bad though, because President Obama will give you free health care, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?) !!!
If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change ! The chicken wanted change !

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: That road the liberal media claim that chicken crossed? Well, that is the Road to Nowhere, and I told Congress. Thanks, but no thanks to that. So, there isn't any road for that chicken to cross and any reporter who says otherwise ought to be fired.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road.. But, then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken? What is your definition of cross?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and I will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. This is America.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize ho w stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So, instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty ! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird told me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road. But why he crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of moulting - and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It was in the nature of the chicken to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world, crossing all the roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008 which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook with a single keystroke. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never require a reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


Things are ok here. Two weeks ago I submitted two drafts (the 2nd draft on one and the 3rd draft on another) of provisionally accepted papers. We'll see if they take it. They are allowed to say no in the end. I was shocked that they would ask for a 3rd version, but we will see. I also yesterday (the 20th of November) submitted a 1st draft of a new paper to an African Journal in mathematics and computer science research. So that's 3 papers out. I have one more to submit by the end of next week I hope. And then I'm “all papered out.” I'll need to finish new research for any more work. I'm still stuck on the artery project, but I'm hoping it will become clear.

Things are quiet on campus as exams have finished and many students have gone home. Graduation is coming in December and it usually takes 5 days because UCT (a university of 20,000) has no adequate venues for large groups. I think there are usually 2 ceremonies a day for the week.

Oh, one interesting thing that happened last week. People who help lead (they don't say “teach” because at my church we tend to facilitate small group discussion, lead songs, perform dramas/puppetries, do interactive programs with the kids, give 10-minute “talks”, etc.) my Sunday school group (grades 1-3) asked me for behavior/discipline help because they had heard I had worked with the roughest toughest kids in the worst urban schools. I laughed when I heard this. I was also asked to write something on play therapy to help small group discussions with the grade 1 boys. Well, needless to say some ages are not cut out for small group discussions even if it is after a 10-minute talk that drives home the lesson. But I helped by giving some child therapy techniques used in therapy. But my fellow-leaders would use them to help the little kids answer discussion questions (not to help with emotional and behavioral problems). I asked some YES teachers for some help with the discipline topic, but I never heard anything, so I just wrote something myself and e-mailed them all. Now I've been asked to actually do play therapy counseling with one troubled boy once a week. “It's just an idea,” the church children's administrator told me. So we'll see. It is rather exciting. Most Mondays I go I receive no counseling patients (I think it's hard for people to go to a church for HIV/AIDS or crisis pregnancy counseling especially if they attend that specific church, even if we do advertise outside), so this would be welcome. I need to make sure the child is safe though. We'll see what the counseling supervisors say since I'm not a multi-year trained child psychologists/child therapist.

Things below to look out for:
Final sermon in the Sex and the City Series
Economics II – the world financial crisis final explanation
U.S. Elections and Obama
Poverty and the U.S. Tax system

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