Sunday, October 31, 2010
Love is funny. Have you ever watched someone fall “out of love” with you? It’s quite interesting, really. At one time you were quite amazing to them in a way beyond just your personality and characteristics. You had that special “other” which drew the person to you and explains how so many of the people in the world who are ordinary-looking and not supermodels find each other and love and live. Sometimes I walk around and rationalize it, knowing it’s just chemicals and hormones and chemo physical and chemo-hormonal responses, that I could romantically like anyone, but still it’s a nice thing we have as people. And you know that two people can see the same characteristics in a third person but only one of the two fall romantically in love, and you don’t know why. It’s because there’s that other thing.
But watching someone view you again without the other is quite strange. You don’t really know what to do or say. You just watch and let it happen, I suppose. Peter Rollins (one of my favorite philosophers and studiers of religion) believes that the moment the person fails to see that in you, it didn’t just stop or cease, it never existed. That “other” never existed. Maybe he means it was created or made up and now that the person still sees the same traits in you but without that thing, that special other, that intangible---maybe it was never there. . . . . . .it probably wasn’t.