UPDATE February 25, 2008

FOR WOMEN ONLY

Dr S Tabula

Cheapest & Cures

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That’s an actual flyer I got in the mail (and I see similar ones all the time). I am not allowed to write what the top half of the flyer said. I will only tell you the Title of that section: FOR MEN ONLY.

I had a young guy pray for me in a charismatic church. The problem is that charismatic people tend to pray for a long time. Normally this is ok, but it was combined with two other troubling habits when mixed together:

He had a SOS-Saliva Overproduction Syndrome.

And he stuttered.

So he would be praying for me and he would say,

“The Lord wants to to to to to to to to to to to to to---“

Now, at about this time with all the spraying, the wind was blowing through the room and you know how that can chill you when you are wet. Plus I wanted to dry off. So I try to think of words to help him.

“The Lord wants to to to to to to to to to to to to to to---“

“TAKE”

“Ta ta a ta TAKE you tacitly to town to to to to to to to to to to to to ---“

I’ve really got to stop this, I think. So I try to help out, again, thinking what would be good to say.

“Ta ta a ta TAKE you tacitly to town to to to to to to to to to to to to---“

“TOUCH”

“To Touch touch to touch all his People in the CiTy CenTre.”

This is NOT working. I wondered why I was so silly to think of words to finish his that began with nasty sounds like the sound from the letter ‘t.’ What I should have done was think of nice neutral sounds. Uh-huh. So the next time I try to think or a nice word that can remind me of my younger days at WaterWorld or SplashTown (water theme parks).

“Jeeeeesus wants to know YOU in the intimate places in yo yo yo yo your life. He wants to to to to to to to to to to to to---“

“GO”

“Trot. He wants you to trot to his throne room and take intimate time with him each each each each each each each each each each each” The ch’s were killing me. “each each each each ----“

“DAY”

“Time Each each Time. Time to talk, Time to be tacit, time to t. . . .”

And on it went. It actually was short, but I gave up trying to think of words. I was amazed at his mind’s ability to reject suggestions that didn’t use enough saliva and to immediately come up with synonyms or similar words that overused globs of saliva that seemed to have been formed for me, waiting for me before my birth. It was like he was inspired by God to spit on me. I’m sure it didn’t happen like that, but my imagination runs away with me.

UPDATE

Hey!

I’m back in Cape Town, and I have forgotten what it was like. I had become accustomed to the US, again, so quickly, like second nature. Because of having to run to the wedding straight from the airport, I actually had to drive immediately going from a left-side-of-road/right-side-of-car/stick-shift to a right-side-of-road/left-side-of-car/automatic immediately. I made the switch ok. I just made sure to concentrate.

I have been officially invited to speak at an HIV/AIDS rally in the Limpopo Province 5-6 hours north of Johannesburg. It’s a rural area where kids only know about being a teacher or a nurse because those are the only jobs they see (there is a clinic and a school). My job in the day-long event is to speak about healthy choices. This will be in June. So it’s exciting. I’m also re-engaging in the HIV/AIDS research. No collaborations have turned up (no one seems interested in letting me in). So at the 6-month point, I’m trekking out on my own. We will see what happens. In other service news, I need some help. Maybe you can help me.

It’s always strange when I realize how a lot of stuff is US-centric. So I’m at this children’s ministry conference this weekend (Feb 29 – March 1). And I was reading one of the books for sale about dealing with kids. The entire first chapter was dedicated to kids in the US and their issues. This kind of thing happens a lot here (remember the video we saw at the computing conference talking about advancing technology for the sake of the USA!). The woman speaker tonight (a children’s pastor) said how she is not one of those missionaries who gets money thrown at her from America or American churches. I thought that was funny. She is also the first person in South Africa to say anything good about Nigeria; she said it has the 3^rd largest Sunday School (perhaps within her church group/affiliation). It was nice to hear and underscores the Christian explosion going out from that country.

I received a not-so-good e-mail from the head of an organization I’m about to endorse. So it’s somewhat strange. Regardless of his e-mail, I do need your help. I had to think about this before sending it because, in all honesty, this is not a long-term or root solution. But at the same time that we seek to right wrongs and injustices and inequalities in our world by addressing root issues we still have to deal with the present-day symptoms. That’s why I currently support BOGO.