TWO WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

I’ve had a number of weddings and one funeral lately. Two different couples from my life group got married. I went to a wedding 2.5 weeks ago in Sedgefield, a small coastal town half way between Cape Town in the Western Cape and Port Elizabeth in the Eastern Cape along the Garden Route. Sedgefield is surrounded by three other towns—Wildnerness (seems even smaller), George (a big town), and Knysna (a big town that has won “Best city in South Africa” many years).

So I stayed there in a house-rental or hire. It seemed like a time-share type of house. A domestic worker comes in and cleans it. It was a nice holiday to take even though I had to do Sunday School on Sunday. I had excused myself but I didn’t know that Michi and Ray (the couple who got married half a week ago whose wedding I missed) needed to come back to Cape Town so early. We actually had to leave the reception at 11 at night. And the driver Ray was falling asleep while driving. I decided, after his second pit stop this time for coffee (first time for Coke), to stay awake and talk to him to keep him up. I was a bit too scared to fall asleep and wake up in an accident. So we talked. It worked, but he claims it was the wonderful Wimpy (closest thing to Denny’s in the U.S.?) coffee. Oh well.

The wedding was on the banks of a lake at Jade’s uncle’s lake house. His lake house was so nice it did not look like it belonged to anyone. It looked like a rental. It had a living room outside (it’s summer time right now). It was quite amazing. The guest rooms looked like honeymoon suites with entrances and exits into a small guest room garden for yourself. There was a small mote at the entrance with fish that looked like they wanted to eat you. Exiting out the back wall-length wall-height glass doors of the living room onto the porch and outside living room, you could see the lake expand before you across to the other shore. But directly before you on this dark mahogany outdoor living room porch was what appeared to be a fountain when you stepped to the ledge of the porch. There was an overflowing fountain below you on a level below. I was told this was not a fountain but a pool. If you moved to your right there were stairs going down to the lakeside that allowed you to pass the dark pool on your left. These steps were huge wooden steps fitted with lights that made a nice feel when the sun went down. When you reached the green grass before you was a huge tent set up for the reception. Turning left to pass the tent on your right, you came to the left side of the tent where chairs were set up overlooking the water. There was a bridal canopy under which the bride and groom stood placed at the water’s edge so the minister’s back was to the water. We sat in those seats and watched and participated in the ceremony with the large tent to our right and the house up hill behind us. It was stunningly simply. My friend, Leana, played cello on the grass and she emoted facially as much as her cello did acoustically. Inside the tent were round tables with name cards and a buffet style table set up for food. There was a cash/open bar (open for non-alcoholic drinks, cash for alcoholic drinks) and a smooth polished wooden-planked dance floor built by the brothers and father of the bride.

It was lovely.

Everything about the wedding seemed like it was cheap yet elegantly beautiful. This does not include the tent which I was told costs a lot. But the fact that the uncle owned the property (though it looked rented), the fact that the family built the dance floor, the fact that the band was only two people (the guitarist and bass player would play a CD track with the drums and keyboard and auxillary instruments while they sang and played), the buffet instead of waiter-style service all mean it wasn’t as expensive as it could have been. So it was very nice. I was thankful to be there and be a part. I was, of course, out of place wearing a purple suit, but some loved it. I was the official ice water holder for the bride and groom after the ceremony before the reception as they took pictures on the grass. Being one of only a few Black people I stood out so the parents (maybe it was the purple) came up to me to ask who I was (both sets of parents). It was a good time.



The next wedding was last Saturday in Limpopo where I gave the youth HIV/AIDS talk. I missed Michi and Ray’s wedding because I was traveling to the States. I did get to take Ray shoe shopping last week on Monday. Apparently, Michi saw my shoes at Jade’s wedding in Sedgefield and asked me to take him shoe shopping. Michi doesn’t know I don’t buy shoes; those were bought for me the last time I was in the States by my mother (I think I got 2-3 pairs of shoes; I was bought another 3-4 pairs of shoes this week. Oh my!). Ray and I shopped for shoes and found them, and we also shopped for shirts for the groomsmen and himself to wear with their suits. The option was to have the groom wear orange and the groomsmen black, vice-versa, or everyone black. He’s not as daring with colors as I am so he didn’t want to make too bold a statement. Given that the bridesmaids were wearing orange, I suggested that the groomsmen wear orange. So we found shirts for them (I hoped it matched the bridesmaid’s orange) and found him a nice pinstripe shirt to wear. We then had coffee and I later went back to work (HIV/AIDS counseling work).

But before that on Saturday (1.5 weeks) ago we had a bachelor party. These are Christian (not nominal, but the kind that tries to live out their Christianity on a 24-7 basis) guys so it’s a bit different. No strip clubs or anything like that. And it was a day party! The parties here in South Africa among young Christians are ones of embarrassment. So what happened is that Ray had to go to a pharmacy and explain to the pharmacist that he was getting married next week and needed help choosing the right condom. He had to ask all sorts of crazy, innocent questions and really act like he needed help. Most of us would act like customers in the vicinity. If any of us could not hear him, we were allowed to say to a fellow customer “I can’t hear you” loud of enough that Ray could hear the comment and know he had to repeat or speak louder. Anytime that happened, he was required to find an extra person to talk to about condoms (perhaps a customer). The problem is that none of us could really hear that well because the conversation wasn’t that loud. And I wasn’t even next to one of the other guys (there were 12 of us) to even ask someone to speak up. But it was funny.

The woman at the desk was a bit older. I only heard about two comments.
“Ma’am, can you help me. I’m getting married on Saturday, and I don’t know how to use these things. What do I do with them?”
“I don’t know what why you are asking me all these questions. You’re younger than me. You should be telling me about all this stuff.”

Blah blah blah

“Ma’am, what about the different flavours. I’m not sure which flavour is the best to get. Should I get strawberries and cream? And how do flavours enhance the lovemaking experience in marriage? Can you help me, please? I’m really confused!”

“Why do you want get flavoured condoms? That doesn’t even make any sense. Just buy some strawberries and cream and just dump them all over her. That’ll be much better.”

At this the guys wanted to laugh. Really hard.

We then went outside to the street corner of the mall (we were in a pharmacy in a mall). Ray had to dress up like a gumboot dancer. He had to paint his face black (which shoe polish) and put on the rubber boots and a construction hat. I honestly could not tell if the shoe polish was to make him Black or to represent the soot in a coal mine. Either way, no one seemed offended (that’s what I was worried about). Passers-by either stared in incredulity or laughed. Then we would play the conga and he would have to dance. He made about R18 in 20 minutes. Not bad.

We then played music on the guitar and he had to request women to salsa dance with him. It worked! Two middle-aged women were nice enough to laugh and play along (we had a sign saying something like “Please help me. I’m getting married next week and I want this torture to be over.” The danced with him. One taught him how to waltz. Two girls we know stopped by (they were shopping at the mall). One knew how to salsa so she salsa’d with him. It was quite funny. Then I had to go into the middle of the street with him and play the conga and have him dance to it. It was a rousing finish. But then security came and asked us to go in a very nice and understanding way (you’re not allowed to play on the corner at the mall). She kept say “Silly man.” I later asked her why he’s silly. She asked me how hold he was. I said he was two years out of university so probably 24. She said that’s too young and repeated “Silly man.” But she was good natured about kicking us out.

We then went for a barbeque (braii in South Africa) during which he had to answer questions about his fiancée that she had already answered in advance. He did well, actually, but the questions were not good according to the best man. We ate and laughed. And then he asked if we could end it soon because his fiancée was coming into town from a soccer tournament and he wanted to see her. I was shocked. We told him that he can see her for eternity. Right now it’s us. But we ended it a few minutes later by 5 in the evening.

My friend Ross’s mother passed away. I met Ross when hiking in the eastern part of the Western Cape last year in December. At that time she was not sick. But she went on a trip to Brazil with Ross’s father and had a stroke. Ross’s dad was afraid she was going to die then. It took them 3 days to rearrange the flights to come back early But they made it back to South Africa. It became apparent, as the doctors explained, that she would deteriorate slowly as she had an inoperable brain tumor. Ross and Dean (Ross’s brother) had a third brother, Andrew, who took a semester off from studies in Canada to be with his mom; he’s doing a PhD in economics.

Well, it was a Tuesday when I got the message that his mom passed away that morning. I went over to the house with Melissa, his girlfriend (I introduced them), and I was surprised to find out the body was still in the house. She was still in bed. The two hospice-like nurses (one was a sister-nun) were at the house. People were sad. We talked and chatted and ate a bit. I had been holding my bodily functions for awhile, but finally I asked to use it. Right when I was in the toilet, the funeral guys arrive to take the body. Ross knocks on the door to check if I’m alive. I assure him that the pain I feel guarantees that I am alive. He says that they are moving the body and because her bedroom is very close to the bathroom door I needed to stay inside because I would be in the way. Well, later on I finally finish and wait with in the bathroom. There is a pleasant smell (I have this medical condition that makes my functions smell like cologne). There is a knock on the door, and I think they want to come in. I open it, and it is the domestic worker (remember most SA people outside townships have people clean their homes for them) who wants to go in. I let her in and realize they have NOT yet moved the body. So I’m in the hallway against the bathroom door trying to leave them room to get her body on the bed and wheel it out. I’ve never been that close to a body that just died so it’s a bit strange. The family was hidden away in a room because they couldn’t bear to see her face.

Well, she left and the family came back out and we laughed and cried. I thought it was quite interesting. One son seemed to cope with jokes; one wanted to be very business like and handle all the business. The other was the passion-man along with the father. The father could be laughing with you at one moment and then just interject “I can’t believe she’s gone,” and the mood changes immediately.




She was a school teacher at one of the top Cape Town schools, so her funeral was packed. The church seats 400 but they had to leave the doors open so that people outside could seen the screens with the words for the songs. The overflow seating outside was filled, too. So people stood going all the way back to the street curb. She was well-known and well-liked. The tumor was a completely surprise, so she had been teaching all the way through the end of the 2007 school year (our school year goes with the calendar year here).

I think when I die, I would like to be remembered like she was. She sounds like a great woman. And Ross often laments to me how he wishes I had met her before the deterioration of her mind. Through the words and memories of family and friends, I feel I have.

MISCONCEPTIONS

Do you know the difference between black sheep and a prodigal? I don’t know either, but I think that I’m more of a black sheep. If you know the story of the Prodigal Son, there was a part where the father says that his son was once lost but now is found. I think a black sheep isn’t found yet, so there’s no huge celebration or party of any sort. So in my extended family, if I had to choose one by which I’m classified, I would say I’m the black sheep of the extended family.

There are a few misconceptions people have about this black sheep (me). But I was talking to a young Nigerian girl living in the U.S. about something she was having trouble explaining to her family in LA. She was telling me how sometimes the culture infuriates her because the elders are always right or the parents are always right. So she has absolutely no way of explaining her position because she’s wrong. But it’s more than that, they actually have no variable cultural lens with which to understand her viewpoint. She, for instance, can understand where they are coming from. They (the adults in her family) cannot. It’s incomprehensible. So she can try and she did, but it doesn’t work. There’s no budging. For them it was incomprehensible how she could not have traveled to LA when her mother arrived there. It just didn’t make sense no matter how she explained the situation. But she feels the need to be the one to initiate. I told her to start a campaign and open up a dialogue at the next National Nigerian Convention in the States (that’s not the name; I’m just simplifying).

So these misconceptions are difficult to correct in the proper light. Any explanation just doesn’t make sense. But I list them here to help you understand what can make a black sheep black. Remember though, it’s completely relative. So I may look quite amazing to some people or there maybe parents that would love to have their kids to have just gotten a bachelors degree and be teaching, but it’s always relative to what you have. So I am below where I should be.

First, I believe that you must be poor to help people. This is not true, of course. My mantra is to help people period. That means you don’t wait until your rich. I’ve written about this elsewhere, but if you wait until you are rich to give back, you end up with a person who gives back less and less as much as you give. If you rather teach kids a culture of constantly giving no matter what they have, then when they are rich (if this happens) they will naturally still give relatively equal percentages and you don’t end up with people who give a smaller percentage the more they make. In other words, they are not giving because they are a sports athlete or some music star (shame that those are the first to things to come to mind), they are giving because that’s what they’ve always done. They always gave a quarter away or half away. That’s just what they do. They know the importance. Rather, for me, it’s not about being poor, it’s about sharing what you have. If you read the last update, maybe, it talked about the “politics of sharing” and communism versus capitalism and the 1st century Christians in Antioch and how there was no one needy among them. They were not poor, they just shared everything.

Second, I follow after women or girls. This is not true. In 2005 I had a number of different teaching opportunities, one in Haiti and some in NYC or instance. I wanted to go to NYC with a friend Joy but political instability made the country extremely dangerous (well the capital city) so we could not go. One person said to me “Why do you have to teach somewhere else? Why can’t you teach here in Houston?” Taking it at face battle and thinking that was the problem I acquiesced and taught here in Houston. The problem was not that. Her question is more like an attempt to win a battle but not the war. The problem was not location at all. It was what I was doing. But I didn’t know that. Extended family sees it as following after a girl who taught in Houston. But that’s not true actually. When the girl I was dating was going to SA, I didn’t even consider it. It took a good friend of mind (the con-artist and biostatistician) to say to me “you should at least consider it.” So I did and only applied to one thing in the entire country which I got and had to make a decision before even starting a job search. It was a good opportunity to get back on track to a professorship due to my rough time in graduate school. I prayed and considered and chose to do it. Though I’ve spoken to my extended family about this, it is difficult to believe my words because they see actions as speaking louder than words. So my words don’t count. Part of the problem is that they don’t realize I’ve had other passions that I have kept at bay.

Third, I have only ever wanted to do engineering; new things like education or international affairs are due to following people. That’s not true. I’ve written about this elsewhere as well. The first scientific vocation for me was astronomy. That was quickly crushed as a little by words from an adult but that dream has been re-awakened in the form of astronautical ambitions. K-12 education, wanting to live abroad, international development and relief, and humanitarian/service/missions work have been inside me and growing before any girl. But that is not known. Explaining this never works because people believe actions are louder than words. I did like engineering and definitely was considering it but I have always liked other non-popular things as well. I seriously wanted to major in music, for instance, in college. So these are not new things coming from following women, but rather God-dreams resuscitated from the recesses of my heart.

Fourth, something is wrong with my head. I don’t think anything is wrong. But the concept of passions and living life from your dreams and passions is completely incomprehensible. It doesn’t make sense; good luck trying to explain it. It seems quite Western. And it makes me feel that everything I say is just as cultural (Western) as anything someone African would say is African, or as anything someone Asian would say is Asian. How do you get out of the grips to the truth? What is truth? Does it matter? I don’t know, but in Nigeria, you do what needs to be done. It’s about sacrifice and taking one for the team. It’s about community (like in many Asian countries). At what point can you now say, the community is taking care of so let me do something for the wider global community? Not sure. There’s a wonderful book called “The Dream-Giver.” In it the truth about dream-chasing comes out. Before you ever step out, you must first overcome your own complacency. You must step out of your comfort zone. That’s the first challenge. The next big step and challenge is that stepping out disrupts the comfort zone of those closest to you. And you often face the most resistance from those closest to you. It doesn’t make what you do right (you would face resistance either way) but it does show you that it’s quite natural. But the idea of dreams and living to do that doesn’t work. I’m seen as having thrown away education, engineering, life, money, position, etc. And I was even told once “Didn’t you once say you would love to go to LA and work a menial job while auditioning for roles? You gave that up, too.” This one was tricky because it used an actual passion of mine, but experience has taught me, this is one of those winning-the-battle statements used to win a battle (like getting him to live in the U.S. or something else) before the harder stuff. Trust me, a sheep pursuing acting in L.A. is still a black sheep.

Fifth, Jesus came to make life easier for us. Well, I like the slightly different Christian philosophy where Jesus came to shake things up, and turn things around, not for our comfort, but for our character and so that we would bless others. My extended family can come from more prosperity theology leanings, but you have to be careful because there are all kinds of degrees and flavors of it. And I know no one who I would classify as falling under prosperity theology that sees himself or herself as prosperity theology. It’s always the next guy. But I don’t lean in that direction as much. This actually is not a misconception of mine. This is the conception some family have that I don’t ascribe to. I’m viewed as having the ability to help people by first getting really rich and then putting one boy through school. Doesn’t Oprah in her richness have more influence than me as a school teacher? How do you answer that question? Ha ha. I’m considered to have some self-effacing, demeaning spirit in me because my brother, who doesn’t have as many degrees as I do looks like a million bucks when he exits the house—from his car to his clothes to his hair to his shoes. I, on the other hand, don’t realize Jesus came to give me stuff and make it better; I wear horrible embarrassing shoes and clothes and don’t buy stuff. So there’s a bit of a different philosophy. Teaching is seen as a demotion; most things are. That means I’m outside of God’s will. I don’t see that. But many hope one day I will.

That’s just a little of what make a black sheep black. And I completely understand every perspective, but it seems impossible to explain another perspective.

SCIENCE

Speaking of perspectives, in response to the section on homosexuality and 4 reasons one preacher and writer gave against it possibly being genetic, one of my friends sent me an article showing that it could be. But I think the importance of the article is showing me that the argument about twins was flawed. The writer wrote that if it were genetic, then if one identical twin is homosexual, then the other should be, too; however, there is only a 50% chance of that. This article seems to indicate otherwise. Not sure, but I’m sharing it.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/111843.php

RELIGION & POLITICS--ABORTION

I think I’ve talked a bit about the Religious Right without using their name, but let’s talk about liberals, too.

One of the cool things about Republicans is that they have allowed for a spectrum of ideas. Consider how many big time Republicans we know who are pro-choice. Giuliani is pro-choice. Even Arnold, the terminator, is pro-choice. Why does this matter? It means that you don’t let one issue ruin the possibility of people joining you agree on a lot of your platform. That allows Arnold and Rudy to be Republicans.

The Democrats, on the other hand have a lot to learn. I don’t know if they were better about it this election in 2008. Perhaps they were or were not; it wasn’t as big an issue this time. The point is that being a pro-life Democrat can kill you politically. Former Pennsylvania Governor Robert Casey was not allowed to speak at the Democratic National Convention in 1992 and 1996 because he was pro-life even though he’s progressive views on economic and foreign policy and supports women’s rights. Former Ohio Congressman and evangelical Christian Tony Hall faced similar struggles because he is pro-life even though he’s outspoken on issues of hunger and poverty. Jesse Jackson changed his views in order to run for the presidency as a Democrat. This is a problem.

The Democratic National 2000 party platform (Wallis, “God’s Politics,” 2005) says “Our goal is to make abortion less necessary and more rare. . .We must continue to support efforts to reduce unintended pregnancies, and we call upon all Americans to take personal responsibility to meet this important goal.” That was great! It also said that the Democratic National Party recognizes “different views on issues of personal conscience like abortion and capital punishment. We view this diversity of views as a source of strength, not as a sign of weakness.” Great words, but those words were removed from the 2004 party platform (incidentally Clinton ran on a platform of making abortion safe, legal, and rare, but didn’t do much to make it rare and just helped keep it legal).

So the Democrats have a lot to learn from Republicans in terms of igniting a base of Christians. Though I agree it is very bad practice and thinking to vote on 1-4 issues (abortion, gay marriage, etc) to the exclusion of all others, Democrats could learn something by affirming their pro-choice stance but allowing for differing views within the Democratic spectrum. They would lose so many people who do the exclusive-voting, people who say “I like the Democrats but I just can’t vote for baby-killers.” Again, it’s not good to vote on 2 or 3 issues, but you should allow ideological variance within your party. Moreover, the Democrats can affirm being pro-choice and then work super hard to reduce the number of abortions and unwanted pregnancies. Republicans have won elections on anti-abortion stances and then done nothing to reduce the rate. If you work to reduce the rate even though you’re pro-choice you can get pro-life people to vote for you perhaps. But the most important issue to reduce the number of abortions which is ridiculously high for our American society. The Democrats could even put a website link to the group Democrats for Life, but they haven’t in the past. I don’t know if any of this has changed recently.

The other problem with abortion and people being against abortion is that there is not a consistent ethic of life. How can you be against abortion or a legal practice that kills 4,000 unborn children a day and not be worried about AIDS that kills over 9,000 a day or hunger and poverty that kill over 30,000 children a day. Something’s not right. What about capital punishment? Anti-abortion, pro-capital punishment? It’s possible. I’ve seen it, but the problem with capital punishment besides possible principle objections (thinking killing to show you’re against killing isn’t right), is that it’s easy to make mistakes with death row. It’s overwhelmingly biased along racial lines (just study any justice system statistics); it’s extremely biased against the poor who cannot afford good or any adequate legal representation. Moreover, it is not clear and there is not proof it actually deters crime like a good punishment is supposed to do. It just satisfies revenge (forget about rehabilitation; SIDE NOTE: the three purposes of punishment are supposed to be justice, rehabilitation, deterrence; it is possible to feel that only justice is the true and needed reason to punish so some see it as ok).

RELIGION & POLITICS--RACE

Then there is the issue of race in America. Republicans have won races through racial division, but Democrats take minority votes for granted. I was asking Anna, my housemate, if it was like that at all in the UK (knowing it wasn’t). She said no because they didn’t have that history of slavery. I didn’t understand at first because I know Britain was heavily involved in slavery and slave trade and had a law that first abolished the slave trade and then later abolished slavery. Then I remembered that there was not mass transport of slaves to the UK. The reason we have our problems is that the US is where we took slaves to be –the Americas: Haiti, U.S., Brazil, Nicaragua, etc.

And all this time we have never apologized for it. I was amazed when I was looking at the list of governments and even the U.S. government and their apologies for past wrongs to different groups. Congress apologized to Japanese Americans for the internment camps during WWII and to native Hawaiians for overthrowing the Kingdom of Hawaii. East Germany apologized to the Jews and the world for the Holocaust; Japan’s emperor apologized for crimes in Korea; the UK apologized to the Irish for not relieving the potato famine. The list goes on.

Apologizing for slavery doesn’t fix everything. But it does send a nice message to our kids about the power in apologizing and what is right to do.

Sadly race is still a big issue today. Look at the words by a writer in the “Black Commentator” (a publication for black journalists) about a Howard Dean speech given in 2003.

“Howard Dean’s December 7 [2003] speech is the most important statement on race in American politics by a mainstream white politician in nearly 40 years. Nothing remotely comparable has been said by anyone who might become or who has been President of the United States since Lyndon Johnson’s June 3, 1965 affirmative action address to the graduating class at Howard University.

For four decades, the primary political project of the Republican Party has been to transform itself into the White Man’s Party. Not only in the Deep South, but also nationally, the GOP seeks to secure a majority popular base for corporate governance through coded appeals to white racism. The success of this GOP project has been the central fact of American politics for two generations—reaching its fullest expression in the Bush presidency. Yet a corporate covenant with both political parties has prohibited the mere mention of America’s core contemporary political reality: the constant, routine mobilization of white voters through the imagery and language of race. Last Sunday, Howard Dean broke that covenant.”

Now look at Howard Dean’s words (some of them):

“In 1968, Richard Nixon won the White House. HE did it in a shameful way—by dividing Americans against one another, stirring up racial prejudices and bringing out the worst in people. They called it the ‘Southern Strategy,’ and the Republicans have been using it ever since. Nixon pioneered it, and Ronald Reagan perfected it, using phrases like ‘racial quotas’ and ‘welfare queens’ to convince white Americans that minorities were to blame for all of America’s problems. The Republican Party would never win elections if they came out and said their core agenda was about selling America piece by piece to their campaign contributors and making sure that wealth and power is concentrated in the hands of a few. To distract people from their real agenda, they run elections based on race, dividing us, instead of uniting us.” He’s connecting racism to poverty here.

Listen to Lyndon Johnson at the commencement speech: “Negro poverty is not white poverty. Many of its causes and many of its cures are the same. But there are differences—deep, corrosive, obstinate differences—radiating painful roots into the community, and into the family, and the nature of the individual. These differences are not racial differences. They are solely and simply the consequence of ancient brutality, past injustice, and present prejudice. They are anguishing to observe. For the Negro they are a constant reminder of oppression.” Black Americans “saw those words as truth” (God’s Politics).

So Dean continued “Every time a politician uses the word ‘quota’ it’s because he’d rather not talk about the real reason that we’ve lost almost 3 million jobs. Every time a politician complains about affirmative action in our universities, it’s because he’d rather not talk about the real problems with education in America—like the fact that here in South Carolina, only 15 percent of African Americans have a post—high school degree.”

[Johnson did a lot of Affirmative Action; Clinton more recently, had lots of “national conversations” on it but to no real purpose, no substantial plan of action]

Wallis writes that Dean was presenting working class whites in South Carolina with the REAL option—vote with your economic interests or vote with your boss’s interests while blaming blacks for problems. “In American history, populist and progressive movements only became possible when middle- and low-income whites make that choice, not only to vote their own interests, but to actually ally with working-class blacks against wealthy and powerful interests that were aligned against them both.” That’s very true, and I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Jesse Jackson was quoted in the same “Black Commentator” article as saying “The big fight in this state [South Carolina] should be trade policy and the Wal-Martization of our economy. . .The challenge is to get South Carolina to vote its economic hope and not its racial fears.” I really like that. I didn’t realize that most low-income Americans are white who “work every day. They work at Wal-Mart without insurance. They work at fast-food places. They work at hospitals where no job is beneath them, where they don’t’ have insurance, so they can’t afford to lay in the beds they make. . .The challenge for South Carolina is to move from racial battleground to economic common ground to moral high ground.”

So Dean continues, “In America, there is nothing black or white about having to live from one paycheck to the next. Hunger does not care what color we are. In America, a conversation between parents about taking on more debt might be in English or it might be in Spanish, worrying about making ends meet knows no racial identity. Black children and white children all get the flue and need the doctor. In both the inner city and in small rural towns, our schools need good teachers. When education is suffering in lower-income areas, it means that we will pay for more prisons and face more crime in the future. When families lack health insurance and are forced to go to the emergency room when they need a doctor, medical care becomes more expensive for each of us. When wealth is concentrated at the very top, when the middle class is shrinking and the gap between rich and poor grows as wide as it has been since the Gilded Age of the 19th Century, our economy cannot sustain itself.”

He reminded that “Americans, black and white, are working harder, for less money, with more debt, and less time to spend with families and communities.” He said most (8 million) of the 13 million American children in poverty were white. “It’s time we had a new politics in America—a politics that refuses to pander to our lowest prejudices. Because when white people and black people and brown people vote together, that’s when we make true progress in this country. Jobs, health care, education, democracy, and opportunity. These are the issues that can unite America. The politics of the 21st century is going to begin with our common interests.”

He also said “If any politician tries to win an election by turning America into a battle of us versus them, we’re going to respond with a politics that says that we’re all in this together—that we want to raise our children in a world in which they are not taught to hate one another, because our children are not born to hate one another. We’re going to talk about justice again in this country, and what an America based on justice should look like—an America with justice in our tax code, justice in our health care system, and justice in our hearts as well as our laws. . .The politics of race and the politics of fear will be answered with the promise of community and the message of hope.”

Sound familiar? Any questions.

RELIGION and POLITICS—VALUES and HOMOSEXUALITY

Again there is this debate between parties over the morality of Democrats. And I do recognize that scandals with Republican politicians may have somewhat weakened that, but when voters believe Republicans can be trusted to improve moral values and Democrats cannot not, then the Democrats are faltering. From what I’ve seen and read it seems that people’s priorities change when you get married. So it may not be that Republicans have somehow appropriated the religious right, but you begin to care more about what’s on TV, what’s on the internet, and what your kids are exposed to at what age. So Democrats shouldn’t dismiss the moral advantage of Republicans but rather engage them. There’s no reason why you can’t be a progressive Democrat who cares about family values and parenting and the break-up of the home and family in American society. It’s a problem. It’s ok to criticize the abundance of sex and violence. I’m a pretty young guy and I myself have noticed the changes in entertainment between what you are allowed to do, say, show, and tell and at what ages you can see it.

The other problem with religion and politics is the ongoing battle with homosexuality. I’m going to try to be brief because when there is too much emphasis placed on this above all else. When the Right says gay and lesbian people are responsible for the breakdown in the family (heterosexual) that is not true. And when the Left compares gay rights to apartheid in South Africa, slavery, and the Holocaust that is just not true, either.

It is completely possible to affirm pro-family and pro-gay civil rights. It’s possible. The breakup in the family is not due to gay and lesbian people but rather to heterosexual dysfunction, infidelity, promiscuity, lack of courage in intimacy and much more.

For the church the issue of gay marriage is a difficult one. But affirming gay marriage does not have to be connected to gay rights. Wallis in his book asks “Do we really want to deny a gay person’s right to be at their loved one’s deathbed in a hospital with “family restrictions”? Do we also want to deny that person a vote in the medical treatment of his or her partner? And do we really want all worldly possessions of a deceased gay person to revert to the family that rejected them thirty years ago, instead of going to their partner of the last twenty years? There are basic issues of fairness here that can be resolved without a paradigm shift in our basic definition of marriage.”

Some churches or groups believe you shouldn’t change the definition of marriage but you can allow civil unions. For others, only gay marriage fulfills the rights of equal protection under the law. There are three stances on church rites: some say leave the sacrament of marriage alone; some are exploring new types of rites or blessings for gay couples; others say give full sacramental inclusion to gay and lesbian couples in the church.

Regardless the protection of civil rights for gay people should be a given. We shouldn’t’ be arguing about refusing rights to people. Gay civil rights is a justice issue. Gay marriage or ordination of gay bishops, however, shouldn’t be a faith breaker. Many groups split and part ways because of this. People with differing views should continue to dialogue and stay together as one body under Christ. The church has to learn how to stay together and talk about these things. You can give legal protection to people without changing your definition of marriage.

Tony Campolo, an Eastern University professor and writer, says that the legal issues of marriage should be separated from the church. In other words, ministers and priests should no longer be able to say “By the power vested in me from the State of Arkansas. . .” That should be left to civil authorities, and the churches should only do religious blessings. Then couples can approach the church of their choice for a religious blessing.
Most only provide blessing for a man and a woman but there are a few that provide blessings for gay or lesbian couples. It might be a possible solution that “preserves the Christian conscious of diverse positions.”

Wallis says that conservative Christians should be careful about drawing a line in defense of families at the expense of gay couples with lifelong commitments instead of “standing prophetically against the cultural, moral, and economic forces that are ripping families apart. And liberal Christians should not argue for gay marriage on the grounds of human rights, but rather should probe more deeply into the theological, biblical, and sacramental issues that are also at stake.”

Anyway, it’s sad how issues of gay marriage have become more important (in earlier times) than deeper ethical issues of war, the theology of war, and complicity of violence that is characteristic of our time. Richard Hays, Duke Divinity professor said “In the United Methodist Church, we say nothing about the horrifying violence in Iraq, while at the same time we exhaust ourselves going around in circles debating issues of sexuality.”

ARTS

Another funeral that was held recently was for Mariam Makeba. She is a Grammy-award winning artist who has also won a few peace prizes as well (not Nobel). She died of a heart-attack, I believe, in Italy after a performance. You may have seen her guest start on the Cosby Show back in 1991 after returning to the country from exile in 1990 (Mandela asked her to come back). She was also in Sarafina (with Whoopie; she played the mother of Sarafina).

I think I first heard of her from watching “An Evening with Belafonte/Makeba” a live album recorded and video recorded back in 1966 for which she won a Grammy. You might know “Malaika” or “Pata Pata.” I first heard “In the Jungle” from her but in a style I’ve never heard in the States. Perhaps it’s the original African style, not the one that became popular in the States.

Because that album dealt with apartheid and speaking out against it, her passport was revoked in 1960 when she tried to go back to attend her mother’s funeral. In 1963 after testifying against apartheid to the UN, her citizenship and right to return were revoked by South Africa. Wow. She was offered honorary citizenships by 10 countries and has had passports from 9 countries. She’s the biggest internationally-known South African music star. And you can read more about her on Wikipedia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miriam_Makeba

The Christmas lights are up in downtown Cape Town. They’re quite pleasant and they are different from last year. I like that they change them and keep them new. For pictures go to one of my facebook picture pages.

Love in the Time of Cholera
I just saw this movie on DVD at a friend’s house. My goodness! They chose that actor Javier (don’t know his last name) who also did Goya’s Ghosts. He has a way of playing very pitiful characters that makes you hate the person or over sympathize. It can be hard to watch. The character himself was quite pitiful trying to feel the void of love with lust.

Slum Dog Millionaire
Go see this one! I enjoyed it. I had heard of it and didn’t realize I had. In South Africa we get movies 3 months or so (sometimes sooner) later than the U.S. release. So it hasn’t here in South Africa yet. But someone took me out to a movie when I arrived in the States. It’s not Bollywood if you dislike that (I think those movies are fun). But they do a funny B0llywood spoof during the credits (I think it’s a parody; I’m not sure). The story is about a boy who gets all the questions right on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” And before they can go to the final question the next day on the show, he’s questioned by the police for cheating. The movie shows how he knew the answer to each question which was (some would say) by pure random chance of events in his life. This is one of those movies that reinforce what people have always told me about those game shows. Sometimes it just so happens that the questions line up with your experience and it works—luck. Sometimes it’s completely out of your studying knowledge and experiential knowledge and you lose.

Patience,
Victor