ARTS

Movies

Eagle Eye
I’m glad someone saw from his original Disney show that Shia could act. He can, and it’s good to see him move on to movies. He has a good career in front of him. This is a general action movie a bit out of the future, a little sci-fi, but good.

The Duchess
Keira did a good job. It reminds me of course of The Other Boleyn Girl, another true story that is good enough to make into a movie with some artistic guesses and embellishments of course.


The Lakeview Terrace
Samuel Jackson is funny to me because there was one year where he had the title of most movies in that year than any other actor. He is indiscriminate in his choice of movies. It really seems like he’ll make just about any movie you pitch to him as long as he’s not filming one at the same time. This one had an interesting story line though, and I recognized Kerry Washington as one-half of an interracial couple that moves into their first house next door to a Black cop whose wife was killed in a car accident possibly riding with a white man (possible affair? Who knows?).

Hancock
Woah! No one told me it was a superhero movie. I kept waiting for Will Smith to wake up from his dream. No joke. I also kept saying the whole time that that woman looked like Charlize Theron. You wouldn’t believe my surprise when I found it was her during the credits. There was something about her that looked completely different.

Traitor
I fell asleep. But I think it’s good. Don Cheadle is in it (someone just said I reminded her of him), so perhaps I fell asleep because it was late and not because Don was in it. He’s a good actor.

Books

I read two interesting books recently. Have you read them?
“A New Earth” and “Eat Pray Love” They were both so interesting I thought I would muse aloud. Though “A New Earth” was an Oprah Book Club book and the author of “Eat Pray Love” was on her show, I did not choose them because Oprah said they were good. I have never read any of the books she has recommended (well I don’t know what’s on her list). Someone gave me both books. And to be honest, I receive books every year and am never able to finish all the books given me. But I look forward to that day, still, when I have finished every book given me and can begin to read books for fun. Imagine that! Luckily I couldn’t take everything to South Africa and I had to leave an African-American fiction anthology (huge book), a biography of a U.S. general of whom I had no prior knowledge (huger book), and part of a book (the rest was torn away, thanks Elisa) by a theologian. I think those are the last 3, but they are not here so they don’t count. Here in South Africa. I have only 2 left to read. And yes, you guessed it, one of those was also from Elisa. Elisa gave me probably 4 books last year to read, and I love her more and more each day for it.

The most interesting part about both of these books is that they are supposed to be New Agey. I didn’t know this of course when starting to read them, but I went to an open-air outdoor concert with some Christian people from my church (redundant or not?) and someone commented on me reading those books. Anyway, I find it interesting whenever people join a group or religion and take on its name/label and decide to believe something other than its foundational beliefs or doctrine. I am ok with people believing what they choose. They have free will. But why call it by the name of a set of beliefs and then believe something else. It gets confusing. That’s why I found it interesting that Elizabeth Gilbert (the author of Eat Pray Love) says in the book that she is not a Christian because she does not believe that Jesus is the only way (a common stumbling point/block for many on the faith journey towards God or the Christian God). I respected that statement. At the same time, my understanding of this faith game has changed as I have learned more and these days I just feel it’s all about the relationship with Christ which she seems to have no matter how correct her theology is. So I imagine that it’s possible for someone to have a relationship with Christ-God and not believe something that Christ said (that he is the only way) or reinterpret it differently. In that way, she might label herself as a Christian. But I just respected that, according to a traditional view and a traditional orthodoxy with its fundamental or foundational beliefs, she refuses to label herself a Christian. Interesting.


Eat Pray Love
This was an interesting book. After a divorce and a break up from her post-marriage boyfriend, a woman/writer travels for one year pursuing pleasure (Eat, not sexual intercourse) in Italy, pursuing God (Pray) in India (studying meditation at an Ashram), and then pursuing balance (Love) in Indonesia. My favorite part was the pray part because there was growth from the start of the book through the end of the pray section. She really “came into her own” if you know the expression. An Italian woman I met said Italy would have been better had she been in a better place in Italy. And I agree, but she grew into India. And it was wonderful. Indonesia wasn’t as good or definitely had a drop I think. Granted, she and I have different values, and that’s fine. There are still lots of truth in her book. But I didn’t like her equating intercourse with a man to a relationship. In that case, all my relationships are negated and were non-existent. I think she had something with him without intercourse. I would also have loved to see her keep her vow throughout the entire year.


A New Earth
I thought this book was interesting because even though it was New Agey, there were parallels between that and Christianity. If he replaced the word consciousness by spirit (or the spirit realm) and the universal intelligence by God, it would be saying the same thing. The only problem is that he elevated the spiritual dimension above the physical one which is also characteristic of traditional Christianity. These days (especially with emergent views) even with traditional Protestant denominations people are more understanding that the physicality and our bodies are important to God as well and that we will have bodies in the New Heaven and the New Earth. It took awhile but the author brought us back to the dual importance of both the physical and the spiritual in the end. First he had to break of us identifying with the physical world, our bodies, beauty, materialism before properly setting us in it. I thought it interesting how he interpreting a lot of Jesus’s sayings and Biblical verses in completely different ways than I have ever heard. Some made me laugh. He thinks all religions may be similar. I think many are similar but some are very dissimilar (like Christianity). But he has a point when you look at the mystics of each religion. Christian mystics, Sufis in Islam (like whirling dervishes), Kabala in Judaism, etc. Those seem somewhat similar as they are focused on experiencing God over orthodoxy and theology.

Joy,
Victor

PS Off to the job market!

UPDATE - DECEMBER 14, 2008

Well, I don’t remember all I wrote in the actual update, but I’m home now. And it’s always funny to be back here. The house is different since Hurricane Ike as there is a lot of hardwood floors and large, ceramic tile for the kitchen floor. In winter without heated floors you want to make sure you still wear shoes or socks (before, I started the practice of taking off shoes at the door for the carpets sake or to say you were standing on holy ground; I’m not sure which).

I’m just trying to get adjusted to being here for the moment. My biggest project is job applications for the next step. We’ll see what that is and what it may be. I’m looking at anything and everything. I’m not narrowing too much in the initial casting of the net. I’ll choose from which fish are caught. So we shall see. I finish here somewhere between July 1 and September 1 depending on when the next job needs me to start and if I feel like renewing my visa again past July 1 to the actual 2 year date of September 1.

Other than that my family has me doing music at my father’s church and running some small Christmas program. I’m supposed to be working on that. So I haven’t gotten to do much of some of my smaller projects yet. I’m also trying to ease myself into seeing people. It can be overwhelming a bit when everyone wants to see you and you go from person to person to person. That’s why it was nice the last time I was here in February to have a dinner and whoever could come could come. And then I could try to see those who couldn’t separately.

Everyone is good. My sister got a promotion at the job she left. Jose-Miguel (biostatistician and con-artist) says that the best way to get a promotion at your current job is to leave and go somewhere else. This is exactly what happened. I don’t think she planned it but it’s a nice one. My brother is a recruiter for an educational institute (I think they give associates degrees). And my father is looking for work. My mom is doing volunteer work right now. So people are good and making. I still have Christmas shopping to do in the U.S. Wish me luck!

SOUTH AFRICA

I’ve been away for a bit but the biggest news I remember is still this new break-away party—The Congress of the People (COPE). The ANC is challenging COPE’s right to use that name. Meanwhile the COPE actually won more seats in by-elections last week than the ANC who, in my province of the Western Cape, failed to compete in 12 of the 27 contested seats. COPE won 10 and the Democratic Alliance (DA) won 9 of them. The ANC won only 3 of the 27. The interesting thing is that the ANC used to hold all of them. (pause, take that in for a moment)

So why it’s so interesting is that this is the thing I have told South Africans about when they ask me if their political situation will ever be different. I point to all other countries that have liberated themselves and I say one word: time. It seems like it is starting happen. What’s interesting is that this is not just any alternative; this is an actual black South African alternative. The DA is an alternative, but it is mostly a white liberal group. I believe the DA is happy about the formation of COPE as it weakens the ANC hold over politics and perhaps creates a political choice for Black South Africans who traditionally (though tradition is only since 1994) voted for the ANC, the liberation group. And if you actually make the Black South African voter think before choosing and sway some of them not to vote for the ANC, then it gives the DA a better chance of beating the ANC. I think the DA has not really wanted to join with COPE, though they could have done so and made a more powerful opposition group. I cannot tell you why, though.

The opposition groups here are still dominated by being against something instead of being for something. So I have no idea what the DA supports or believes. I say the same thing about COPE. And to be honest, I’ll say the same about the dominant party—the ANC. I mean I know who they are supposed to be for—the person on the street, in the rural areas, the worker, the domestic, the construction worker, the jobless. But things have not changed for them anyway. Perhaps some may say, “Let’s try something new. What have we got to lose? Nothing.” So we’ll see if this pans out. Right now, it still doesn’t seem likely that the COPE will truly contest a Zuma victory next year because I’m not certain of COPE’s appeal to people outside the Western Cape (50% coloureds) or the Eastern Cape (lots of Xhosas which Mbeki and Mandela are a part).

Many people welcome the addition of COPE to the political spectrum because it gives them a place in politics after losses at Polokwane (when Zuma won the ANC presidential race). Everyone is watching and waiting. Things do seem to be changing, but slowly. Remember, the only reason for these by-elections was due to people quitting the ANC or being kicked out by the ANC. So political differentiation has started.

In other news, we hosted the 2008 Miss World. I believe Miss Universe is more popular in the States. Here, and in many countries, Miss World is more popular. This year it’s being held in Johannesburg. I watched part of it when I came in to the States. This year Russia won with India (no surprise) and Trinidad and Tobago (no surprise) as runners-up.

AFRICA

With 191 countries in the world, there seem to always be elections happening every year which is good news for people who volunteer as international election observers. The big election people were watching last week was Ghana. This is because of the previous controversial elections in places like Zimbabwe and Kenya. This was supposed to be a test in the eyes of some “journalists” (sometimes I wonder if they make a mountain out a molehill) of Africa’s ability to have peaceful elections. Well if you are in Africa’s corner the best country you want “at bat” is Ghana. They are not the economic leader, not the most populous, not the most developed. But Ghana was the leader in the liberation movement across the continent and received her independence relatively early. That doesn’t mean they had a pure democracy the whole way. No; they have had dictatorships or military governments, but they have had relatively longer to work at it than other countries. They are considered peaceful. Actually they are peaceful. Religious tensions that exist in places like Nigeria or Sudan or ethnic tensions that exist in many countries like South Africa, Sudan, DRC, or Rwanda are absent in Ghana.

Seventy percent turned out to vote this year compared to 85% in 2004, but it was still peaceful. They will have a run-off after Christmas (on the 28th) because Nana Akufo-Addo, got 49% in the presidential race, while John Atta Mills of the National Democratic Congress (NDC), got nearly 48%. You need 50%.

Outside of the ongoing conflict in the DRC and Sudan, the biggest story seems to be the ongoing saga and crisis in Zimbabwe. People are dying there. Of course, people were dying before, but now there is public health situation with cholera spreading around the country (some cases have even come across into South Africa). This is one of those situations that is completely preventable. Cholera is not some untamable beast, but Zimbabwe’s public health and sanitation infrastructure is completely broken. With 9 million people still left in the country (others have fled or emigrated), massive amounts of aid are still needed in Zimbabwe. The UN estimates it must provide food for over half of them, roughly 5.5 million in the coming year.

Many survive on subsistence; others, handouts or bartering. If you’re lucky you have family and friends abroad who are supporting you and sending over non-Zim dollars to use. The inflation is still well above 200 million % and shows no signs of stopping as Mugabe has reappointed the head of the Zim Central Bank which likely indicates more of the same economic practices. Because the money is worthless, public services have stopped which is why many are begging for handouts or food.

That’s not the worst of it. Cronyism still looms large as members of Tsvangirai’s team and the MDC have still recently been abducted. This is now December and the power-sharing deal was signed back in September. Since then talks have stalled on how to separate the powers of the government between the prime minister (Tsvangirai) and the MDC and Mugabe and his party, Zanu-PF. Meanwhile people are dying.

Mugabe has even refused entrance visas to Jimmy Carter, Kofi Annan, and Graca Machel (Mandela’s wife) who wanted to enter Zimbabwe on a fact-finding mission to assess the severity of the crisis for aid purposes. The three are part of a group known as “the Elders” and perhaps their refused entry may spur the UN to more action.

There was talk of sanctions on Mugabe and some of his closest people by the UN Security Council but China, Russia and South Africa voted against it (only China and Russia have veto power though). Perhaps now they may push for it. Right now, no one is willing to use military force or wants to. Some view it as premature. So we watch and wait, but even now cracks are beginning to form.

Before I left, on TV I watched, unpaid soldiers (actual soldiers) rioting in the streets. Though they were only junior soldiers who work for Mugabe, it represents a slight turn in the tide with Mugabe’s henchmen turning against him. So now even the soldiers were unpaid. There were no midlevel or upper level officers but it is something different.

I believe Mbeki is still trying to mediate, but some want him gone and would like Kofi Annan to take over. Tutu has called for military action while others like Odinga of Kenyan are harsh critics of the regime. The Botswana president wants oil sanctions. So the question on everyone’s mind still looms: How do you get Mugabe out of there?

TWO WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL

I’ve had a number of weddings and one funeral lately. Two different couples from my life group got married. I went to a wedding 2.5 weeks ago in Sedgefield, a small coastal town half way between Cape Town in the Western Cape and Port Elizabeth in the Eastern Cape along the Garden Route. Sedgefield is surrounded by three other towns—Wildnerness (seems even smaller), George (a big town), and Knysna (a big town that has won “Best city in South Africa” many years).

So I stayed there in a house-rental or hire. It seemed like a time-share type of house. A domestic worker comes in and cleans it. It was a nice holiday to take even though I had to do Sunday School on Sunday. I had excused myself but I didn’t know that Michi and Ray (the couple who got married half a week ago whose wedding I missed) needed to come back to Cape Town so early. We actually had to leave the reception at 11 at night. And the driver Ray was falling asleep while driving. I decided, after his second pit stop this time for coffee (first time for Coke), to stay awake and talk to him to keep him up. I was a bit too scared to fall asleep and wake up in an accident. So we talked. It worked, but he claims it was the wonderful Wimpy (closest thing to Denny’s in the U.S.?) coffee. Oh well.

The wedding was on the banks of a lake at Jade’s uncle’s lake house. His lake house was so nice it did not look like it belonged to anyone. It looked like a rental. It had a living room outside (it’s summer time right now). It was quite amazing. The guest rooms looked like honeymoon suites with entrances and exits into a small guest room garden for yourself. There was a small mote at the entrance with fish that looked like they wanted to eat you. Exiting out the back wall-length wall-height glass doors of the living room onto the porch and outside living room, you could see the lake expand before you across to the other shore. But directly before you on this dark mahogany outdoor living room porch was what appeared to be a fountain when you stepped to the ledge of the porch. There was an overflowing fountain below you on a level below. I was told this was not a fountain but a pool. If you moved to your right there were stairs going down to the lakeside that allowed you to pass the dark pool on your left. These steps were huge wooden steps fitted with lights that made a nice feel when the sun went down. When you reached the green grass before you was a huge tent set up for the reception. Turning left to pass the tent on your right, you came to the left side of the tent where chairs were set up overlooking the water. There was a bridal canopy under which the bride and groom stood placed at the water’s edge so the minister’s back was to the water. We sat in those seats and watched and participated in the ceremony with the large tent to our right and the house up hill behind us. It was stunningly simply. My friend, Leana, played cello on the grass and she emoted facially as much as her cello did acoustically. Inside the tent were round tables with name cards and a buffet style table set up for food. There was a cash/open bar (open for non-alcoholic drinks, cash for alcoholic drinks) and a smooth polished wooden-planked dance floor built by the brothers and father of the bride.

It was lovely.

Everything about the wedding seemed like it was cheap yet elegantly beautiful. This does not include the tent which I was told costs a lot. But the fact that the uncle owned the property (though it looked rented), the fact that the family built the dance floor, the fact that the band was only two people (the guitarist and bass player would play a CD track with the drums and keyboard and auxillary instruments while they sang and played), the buffet instead of waiter-style service all mean it wasn’t as expensive as it could have been. So it was very nice. I was thankful to be there and be a part. I was, of course, out of place wearing a purple suit, but some loved it. I was the official ice water holder for the bride and groom after the ceremony before the reception as they took pictures on the grass. Being one of only a few Black people I stood out so the parents (maybe it was the purple) came up to me to ask who I was (both sets of parents). It was a good time.



The next wedding was last Saturday in Limpopo where I gave the youth HIV/AIDS talk. I missed Michi and Ray’s wedding because I was traveling to the States. I did get to take Ray shoe shopping last week on Monday. Apparently, Michi saw my shoes at Jade’s wedding in Sedgefield and asked me to take him shoe shopping. Michi doesn’t know I don’t buy shoes; those were bought for me the last time I was in the States by my mother (I think I got 2-3 pairs of shoes; I was bought another 3-4 pairs of shoes this week. Oh my!). Ray and I shopped for shoes and found them, and we also shopped for shirts for the groomsmen and himself to wear with their suits. The option was to have the groom wear orange and the groomsmen black, vice-versa, or everyone black. He’s not as daring with colors as I am so he didn’t want to make too bold a statement. Given that the bridesmaids were wearing orange, I suggested that the groomsmen wear orange. So we found shirts for them (I hoped it matched the bridesmaid’s orange) and found him a nice pinstripe shirt to wear. We then had coffee and I later went back to work (HIV/AIDS counseling work).

But before that on Saturday (1.5 weeks) ago we had a bachelor party. These are Christian (not nominal, but the kind that tries to live out their Christianity on a 24-7 basis) guys so it’s a bit different. No strip clubs or anything like that. And it was a day party! The parties here in South Africa among young Christians are ones of embarrassment. So what happened is that Ray had to go to a pharmacy and explain to the pharmacist that he was getting married next week and needed help choosing the right condom. He had to ask all sorts of crazy, innocent questions and really act like he needed help. Most of us would act like customers in the vicinity. If any of us could not hear him, we were allowed to say to a fellow customer “I can’t hear you” loud of enough that Ray could hear the comment and know he had to repeat or speak louder. Anytime that happened, he was required to find an extra person to talk to about condoms (perhaps a customer). The problem is that none of us could really hear that well because the conversation wasn’t that loud. And I wasn’t even next to one of the other guys (there were 12 of us) to even ask someone to speak up. But it was funny.

The woman at the desk was a bit older. I only heard about two comments.
“Ma’am, can you help me. I’m getting married on Saturday, and I don’t know how to use these things. What do I do with them?”
“I don’t know what why you are asking me all these questions. You’re younger than me. You should be telling me about all this stuff.”

Blah blah blah

“Ma’am, what about the different flavours. I’m not sure which flavour is the best to get. Should I get strawberries and cream? And how do flavours enhance the lovemaking experience in marriage? Can you help me, please? I’m really confused!”

“Why do you want get flavoured condoms? That doesn’t even make any sense. Just buy some strawberries and cream and just dump them all over her. That’ll be much better.”

At this the guys wanted to laugh. Really hard.

We then went outside to the street corner of the mall (we were in a pharmacy in a mall). Ray had to dress up like a gumboot dancer. He had to paint his face black (which shoe polish) and put on the rubber boots and a construction hat. I honestly could not tell if the shoe polish was to make him Black or to represent the soot in a coal mine. Either way, no one seemed offended (that’s what I was worried about). Passers-by either stared in incredulity or laughed. Then we would play the conga and he would have to dance. He made about R18 in 20 minutes. Not bad.

We then played music on the guitar and he had to request women to salsa dance with him. It worked! Two middle-aged women were nice enough to laugh and play along (we had a sign saying something like “Please help me. I’m getting married next week and I want this torture to be over.” The danced with him. One taught him how to waltz. Two girls we know stopped by (they were shopping at the mall). One knew how to salsa so she salsa’d with him. It was quite funny. Then I had to go into the middle of the street with him and play the conga and have him dance to it. It was a rousing finish. But then security came and asked us to go in a very nice and understanding way (you’re not allowed to play on the corner at the mall). She kept say “Silly man.” I later asked her why he’s silly. She asked me how hold he was. I said he was two years out of university so probably 24. She said that’s too young and repeated “Silly man.” But she was good natured about kicking us out.

We then went for a barbeque (braii in South Africa) during which he had to answer questions about his fiancée that she had already answered in advance. He did well, actually, but the questions were not good according to the best man. We ate and laughed. And then he asked if we could end it soon because his fiancée was coming into town from a soccer tournament and he wanted to see her. I was shocked. We told him that he can see her for eternity. Right now it’s us. But we ended it a few minutes later by 5 in the evening.

My friend Ross’s mother passed away. I met Ross when hiking in the eastern part of the Western Cape last year in December. At that time she was not sick. But she went on a trip to Brazil with Ross’s father and had a stroke. Ross’s dad was afraid she was going to die then. It took them 3 days to rearrange the flights to come back early But they made it back to South Africa. It became apparent, as the doctors explained, that she would deteriorate slowly as she had an inoperable brain tumor. Ross and Dean (Ross’s brother) had a third brother, Andrew, who took a semester off from studies in Canada to be with his mom; he’s doing a PhD in economics.

Well, it was a Tuesday when I got the message that his mom passed away that morning. I went over to the house with Melissa, his girlfriend (I introduced them), and I was surprised to find out the body was still in the house. She was still in bed. The two hospice-like nurses (one was a sister-nun) were at the house. People were sad. We talked and chatted and ate a bit. I had been holding my bodily functions for awhile, but finally I asked to use it. Right when I was in the toilet, the funeral guys arrive to take the body. Ross knocks on the door to check if I’m alive. I assure him that the pain I feel guarantees that I am alive. He says that they are moving the body and because her bedroom is very close to the bathroom door I needed to stay inside because I would be in the way. Well, later on I finally finish and wait with in the bathroom. There is a pleasant smell (I have this medical condition that makes my functions smell like cologne). There is a knock on the door, and I think they want to come in. I open it, and it is the domestic worker (remember most SA people outside townships have people clean their homes for them) who wants to go in. I let her in and realize they have NOT yet moved the body. So I’m in the hallway against the bathroom door trying to leave them room to get her body on the bed and wheel it out. I’ve never been that close to a body that just died so it’s a bit strange. The family was hidden away in a room because they couldn’t bear to see her face.

Well, she left and the family came back out and we laughed and cried. I thought it was quite interesting. One son seemed to cope with jokes; one wanted to be very business like and handle all the business. The other was the passion-man along with the father. The father could be laughing with you at one moment and then just interject “I can’t believe she’s gone,” and the mood changes immediately.




She was a school teacher at one of the top Cape Town schools, so her funeral was packed. The church seats 400 but they had to leave the doors open so that people outside could seen the screens with the words for the songs. The overflow seating outside was filled, too. So people stood going all the way back to the street curb. She was well-known and well-liked. The tumor was a completely surprise, so she had been teaching all the way through the end of the 2007 school year (our school year goes with the calendar year here).

I think when I die, I would like to be remembered like she was. She sounds like a great woman. And Ross often laments to me how he wishes I had met her before the deterioration of her mind. Through the words and memories of family and friends, I feel I have.

MISCONCEPTIONS

Do you know the difference between black sheep and a prodigal? I don’t know either, but I think that I’m more of a black sheep. If you know the story of the Prodigal Son, there was a part where the father says that his son was once lost but now is found. I think a black sheep isn’t found yet, so there’s no huge celebration or party of any sort. So in my extended family, if I had to choose one by which I’m classified, I would say I’m the black sheep of the extended family.

There are a few misconceptions people have about this black sheep (me). But I was talking to a young Nigerian girl living in the U.S. about something she was having trouble explaining to her family in LA. She was telling me how sometimes the culture infuriates her because the elders are always right or the parents are always right. So she has absolutely no way of explaining her position because she’s wrong. But it’s more than that, they actually have no variable cultural lens with which to understand her viewpoint. She, for instance, can understand where they are coming from. They (the adults in her family) cannot. It’s incomprehensible. So she can try and she did, but it doesn’t work. There’s no budging. For them it was incomprehensible how she could not have traveled to LA when her mother arrived there. It just didn’t make sense no matter how she explained the situation. But she feels the need to be the one to initiate. I told her to start a campaign and open up a dialogue at the next National Nigerian Convention in the States (that’s not the name; I’m just simplifying).

So these misconceptions are difficult to correct in the proper light. Any explanation just doesn’t make sense. But I list them here to help you understand what can make a black sheep black. Remember though, it’s completely relative. So I may look quite amazing to some people or there maybe parents that would love to have their kids to have just gotten a bachelors degree and be teaching, but it’s always relative to what you have. So I am below where I should be.

First, I believe that you must be poor to help people. This is not true, of course. My mantra is to help people period. That means you don’t wait until your rich. I’ve written about this elsewhere, but if you wait until you are rich to give back, you end up with a person who gives back less and less as much as you give. If you rather teach kids a culture of constantly giving no matter what they have, then when they are rich (if this happens) they will naturally still give relatively equal percentages and you don’t end up with people who give a smaller percentage the more they make. In other words, they are not giving because they are a sports athlete or some music star (shame that those are the first to things to come to mind), they are giving because that’s what they’ve always done. They always gave a quarter away or half away. That’s just what they do. They know the importance. Rather, for me, it’s not about being poor, it’s about sharing what you have. If you read the last update, maybe, it talked about the “politics of sharing” and communism versus capitalism and the 1st century Christians in Antioch and how there was no one needy among them. They were not poor, they just shared everything.

Second, I follow after women or girls. This is not true. In 2005 I had a number of different teaching opportunities, one in Haiti and some in NYC or instance. I wanted to go to NYC with a friend Joy but political instability made the country extremely dangerous (well the capital city) so we could not go. One person said to me “Why do you have to teach somewhere else? Why can’t you teach here in Houston?” Taking it at face battle and thinking that was the problem I acquiesced and taught here in Houston. The problem was not that. Her question is more like an attempt to win a battle but not the war. The problem was not location at all. It was what I was doing. But I didn’t know that. Extended family sees it as following after a girl who taught in Houston. But that’s not true actually. When the girl I was dating was going to SA, I didn’t even consider it. It took a good friend of mind (the con-artist and biostatistician) to say to me “you should at least consider it.” So I did and only applied to one thing in the entire country which I got and had to make a decision before even starting a job search. It was a good opportunity to get back on track to a professorship due to my rough time in graduate school. I prayed and considered and chose to do it. Though I’ve spoken to my extended family about this, it is difficult to believe my words because they see actions as speaking louder than words. So my words don’t count. Part of the problem is that they don’t realize I’ve had other passions that I have kept at bay.

Third, I have only ever wanted to do engineering; new things like education or international affairs are due to following people. That’s not true. I’ve written about this elsewhere as well. The first scientific vocation for me was astronomy. That was quickly crushed as a little by words from an adult but that dream has been re-awakened in the form of astronautical ambitions. K-12 education, wanting to live abroad, international development and relief, and humanitarian/service/missions work have been inside me and growing before any girl. But that is not known. Explaining this never works because people believe actions are louder than words. I did like engineering and definitely was considering it but I have always liked other non-popular things as well. I seriously wanted to major in music, for instance, in college. So these are not new things coming from following women, but rather God-dreams resuscitated from the recesses of my heart.

Fourth, something is wrong with my head. I don’t think anything is wrong. But the concept of passions and living life from your dreams and passions is completely incomprehensible. It doesn’t make sense; good luck trying to explain it. It seems quite Western. And it makes me feel that everything I say is just as cultural (Western) as anything someone African would say is African, or as anything someone Asian would say is Asian. How do you get out of the grips to the truth? What is truth? Does it matter? I don’t know, but in Nigeria, you do what needs to be done. It’s about sacrifice and taking one for the team. It’s about community (like in many Asian countries). At what point can you now say, the community is taking care of so let me do something for the wider global community? Not sure. There’s a wonderful book called “The Dream-Giver.” In it the truth about dream-chasing comes out. Before you ever step out, you must first overcome your own complacency. You must step out of your comfort zone. That’s the first challenge. The next big step and challenge is that stepping out disrupts the comfort zone of those closest to you. And you often face the most resistance from those closest to you. It doesn’t make what you do right (you would face resistance either way) but it does show you that it’s quite natural. But the idea of dreams and living to do that doesn’t work. I’m seen as having thrown away education, engineering, life, money, position, etc. And I was even told once “Didn’t you once say you would love to go to LA and work a menial job while auditioning for roles? You gave that up, too.” This one was tricky because it used an actual passion of mine, but experience has taught me, this is one of those winning-the-battle statements used to win a battle (like getting him to live in the U.S. or something else) before the harder stuff. Trust me, a sheep pursuing acting in L.A. is still a black sheep.

Fifth, Jesus came to make life easier for us. Well, I like the slightly different Christian philosophy where Jesus came to shake things up, and turn things around, not for our comfort, but for our character and so that we would bless others. My extended family can come from more prosperity theology leanings, but you have to be careful because there are all kinds of degrees and flavors of it. And I know no one who I would classify as falling under prosperity theology that sees himself or herself as prosperity theology. It’s always the next guy. But I don’t lean in that direction as much. This actually is not a misconception of mine. This is the conception some family have that I don’t ascribe to. I’m viewed as having the ability to help people by first getting really rich and then putting one boy through school. Doesn’t Oprah in her richness have more influence than me as a school teacher? How do you answer that question? Ha ha. I’m considered to have some self-effacing, demeaning spirit in me because my brother, who doesn’t have as many degrees as I do looks like a million bucks when he exits the house—from his car to his clothes to his hair to his shoes. I, on the other hand, don’t realize Jesus came to give me stuff and make it better; I wear horrible embarrassing shoes and clothes and don’t buy stuff. So there’s a bit of a different philosophy. Teaching is seen as a demotion; most things are. That means I’m outside of God’s will. I don’t see that. But many hope one day I will.

That’s just a little of what make a black sheep black. And I completely understand every perspective, but it seems impossible to explain another perspective.

SCIENCE

Speaking of perspectives, in response to the section on homosexuality and 4 reasons one preacher and writer gave against it possibly being genetic, one of my friends sent me an article showing that it could be. But I think the importance of the article is showing me that the argument about twins was flawed. The writer wrote that if it were genetic, then if one identical twin is homosexual, then the other should be, too; however, there is only a 50% chance of that. This article seems to indicate otherwise. Not sure, but I’m sharing it.

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/111843.php