September 12, 2008
I must have been sitting with my friend Megan in a small Thai restaurant for less than 5 minutes when a woman came up behind her. Earlier when we arrived at the front door we noticed a group of about 20 septuagenarians having a lunch reunion of some sort at a long rectangular table covered in a white table cloth. Little did we know at least one of them, the tallest female, had been watching us, was still watching us—a black man and a coloured girl eating.
So she touched Megan on the shoulder at which Megan jumped, and the woman said, “Wow. I just wanted to telkj adlkj;kadjf jiweofmi.”
Megan smiled, but I missed the entire thing.
“I’m sorry what did you say?”
“She said that—“ Megan started.
“I said you are SUCH a GOOD-looking, handsome man.”
Pause.
“Well, thank you very much. I’m sure she thinks so, too.” I referred to Megan.
The woman smiled and went on her jolly way to the bathroom where joy can sometimes be found.
Megan and I laughed as I tried to explain that, though I work very hard at uglifying myself, sometimes people can see through it.
Another of the septuagenarians came by and spoke to me saying “This food sure is good, isn’t it?”
“You said it, sister!”
She smiled and giggled like she h ad just won the opportunity of a lifetime to make a famous person smile and she did it. I think she half-expected balloons to fall from the ceiling.
We laughed again. I explained that it’s quite normal for me.
“Too bad you only get it from people minimum 70 years!”
We both laughed at that. And from across the room, they just stared at us and watched in glee. Puppy love—two very handsome and cute puppies.
UPDATE
It’s good to be back and writing to you, updating you. Last week I was out of town and this week I have been sick. Strangely enough it appears as if the average person here gets sick more times a year and for longer periods of time. But that’s only my experience. It’s almost like everyone works with little kids. I wonder (assuming it’s real) if it’s related to a different level of warmth/insulation (or sanitation?) during the winter.
We recently had another winter blast in the winter’s final attempt to win a shouting match against spring. The winter is the winner. And now we have received snow in some parts of South Africa while I huddle with my warm water bottle at night. Some friends of mine (two groups) have gone camping to places where they could find snow because it’s a novelty here. Someone told me that the news reported snow hitting the beachfront. Just to make it clear, the snow places are isolated locations. Please don’t think there was snow across the country or anywhere near me (we usually have snow only at the tops of certain mountains, and we only have one ski resort in the country with a very short ski run).
Other than that, Ross (the guy I speak with; I first met him on a hike near Knysna, South Africa) and Melissa (she’s the pretty, sweet, Godly girl who lives in my neighborhood and car pools with me) are now dating. The strange thing is that they met through me. I don’t even come from this country and I introduced two people that may end up together in the end. Now, THAT is strange. I had a daydream today about coming back for their wedding. After one month of dating that’s completely premature, but you’re allowed to daydream for others.
This week, I have a few goals: 1) get a new health insurance (the one required for my visa expired last week) 2) start back at the gym regularly 3) get a college loan deferred 4) renew car registration
Wish me luck. I’m looking for health insurance that includes gym membership (as long as you go once a month it’s free for a certain level of premium). I need to see how much they ask. The doctor would always laugh at me when I went to him and told him the name of my student health insurance, and after flipping through pages of medication names, he would tell me that I would just have to buy it out-of-pocket because my medical aid doesn’t even cover the generic versions. I think I could hear more chuckling after that but I’m not sure since he was coughing at the same time.
I was told that I should have asked for a week off, but I decided to tell people I was taking spring vacation (break), and I did. I have only taken one week of vacation to go to the States. Maybe it was a week and a half. But it was good to go away even if only for a week. It was also a spur-of-the-moment drive. And I drove all the way to the Eastern Cape. . .to Grahamstown. On my way out of Cape Town, I escaped what looked like one of the worst Cape Storms in years.
http://www.thetimes.co.za/News/Article.aspx?id=833246
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20080830103349644C863904
Thursday, September 25, 2008
GRAHAMSTOWN
Two Saturdays ago I drove to Grahamstown on a whim at half past three in the afternoon for a visit. I got there at half-past one. Apparently my mobile phone company has no towers outside of large cities, so it only worked 30 minutes of the 10-hour drive (yes, I did take breaks and rest). So my plans to call for a guest lodge during the drive failed. And 1:30 AM was so close to the morning, I decided not to worry with waking anyone (you’re not allowed to stay in residences/dorms of people of the opposite gender in South Africa) and getting people in trouble nor paying for a night at a hotel since the first night would not be fully used. So I slept in my car.
In the morning I surprised Haley, and she was surprised. She was very sad when I said I that I had a lot of work to do (I did) and that our spring breaks did not match up so I couldn’t go to Malawi (where she is now working at an orphanage for its grand opening). But she was elated. It think besides her being somewhat sad, it was just good to see her as we did not get to see each other during the “weekend away”, a weekend where all the participants in my marriage course went out of town to some cabins for more teaching and marriage sessions. And STILL people asked where my partner was and apologized, feeling sorry for me (if you read previous updates you know I haven’t been able to escape this). So it was good to do some of the work in person—previously I would go home after every session and type out my notes as well as create the hand-outs from scratch in Microsoft Word. It’s silly that I would do that but according to them, they did not have electronic copies of the book or handouts. I don’t believe them. SOMEONE had to type it.
Anyway, I had copied the book and sent it awhile ago, but I had mail problems so she had only had it for half a week. But it was good to talk through things though, Haley has strong opinions about most of those things—debt, finances, contracts, etc. So it wasn’t really new. The nice thing was doing some planning for the church ceremony (wedding ceremony; actually it may be outside) in August 2009 in Idaho. So set your calendars. In case I forget to invite you, just remind me.
Anyway, it was a nice visit. I was finally able to meet the final 2 housemates out of the 6. I met Estelle, an Afrikaaner from Pretoria, and Kosi, a Xhosa girl from Mtata in the Eastern Cape (same province as Grahamstown). Estelle is an honours politics student who feels strongly about her country and wants to become president someday. She has beautifully wavy hair that she hates. Kosi is a postgraduate student in journalism with a quiet (sometimes loud) spirit whose passions lie elsewhere. Hopefully next year she can pursue that and not journalism just because she won a scholarship. Money is important here in this country. I also got to see Matt (a teacher volunteer funded by Episcopal church in the states; very chill and communal heart), again, and Eben (vibrantly real and strangely observant masters politics student who will be doing Peace Corps next year!) and the lovely Rosa ( masters philosophy student who questions much of the world in a way that I hope leads her to the truth; she wants to change the world through philosophy but that might switch to law or something else)..
I saw how much the girls love Oprah. I saw how much the US election is on everyone’s mind even over there. I saw the size of Grahamstown. I just really relaxed. They were all still studying as it was mid-terms week before spring break. So I helped when I could. Rosa asked me to help edit her paper for a conference a week ago on Saturday (she presented and it went well!!!). I was so excited. It was her first and a rewarding experience in my book. I think there should be more funding for graduate students to go to conferences and present and learn the field (and the game and see if they want to play). Haley took to an observatory in Grahamstown with an amazing view of the entire city through the use of a mirror in a tower that focuses its reflected light through a lens and down into a dark room on top of a white drum. In that room you can see the entire city from the outside. It’s amazing. And you can rotate it to look at different parts. I went to the very small History museum which required a lot of reading (Haley did not give me enough time to read it all). There was a second exhibit (room) and all the others were being built.
We also went to a monastery but it appeared deserted, or all the monks (Christian not Buddhist; it was a Benedictine order) were watching us from behind closed doors. The chapel is open to all who wish to engage in silent prayer. It’s a beautifully designed building set at the highest point at the retreat center filled with glass on 3 walls and center area on the ceiling providing for amazing views and light bouncing off the very light brown hard wood floors which muffle the squeaks of our tennis shoes. But no monks showed up for the 5 o’clock mass. We could not figure it out. It was still very nice touring the place. They even have guest lodges for people who want a retreat or a silent retreat.
HOME
There are some people who always ask me how is home, and I have no idea what to say. Home is home and doesn’t change much, and I am not here much. A few weeks ago the dog was able to negotiate an opening past Anna’s leg defenses and get into the house. It then proceeded to jump on top of me stepping on my keyboard. The laptop fell and was turned off, but it was ok, and Anna grabbed the dog and took him out. Then it happened all over again as if I had only dreamed the first happening because surely a dog cannot get past your legs and the slightly askance door twice without a larger opening. But it did. This time the computer seemed to have been damaged more as it fell harder to the floor. But it was still ok.
Other than that, Ryan has moved out. I missed seeing him because I decided to drive to Grahamstown the Saturday he was moving. I hope he is enjoying his new place. I think he is because last weekend he went to Mzoli’s, a famous township meat restaurant.
COMPLIMENTS
People have been complimenting me recently. I don’t know what the deal is. But it’s nice. I told you about the septuagenarians at the beginning, yes? Well, two Sundays ago, a girl came up to me. Her name is Joanne. She is a cute, simple, nice girl—nothing fancy, but quality. I promise that I had one simple conversation with her I think. Oh, she may have been working in the kitchen the night that Ross (my partner-friend in talks on love and female identity) and I were espousing views in the kitchen for the Thursday night sessions (my church was offering 5 classes during 7 weeks on Thursday for which a pre-dinner was free, and we were the wait-staff and clean-up crew). The problem is the guy-girl relations in some of the Western Christian churches in SA can be weird. So she was really nervous to tell me her compliment but she decided to do it anyway.
This is a Sunday night service at church. I have quietly slipped out early because my life group is serving coffee/tea/chocolate after church today (I have not been to a church that does not serve such drinks after services).
“Hi, Victor.”
“Oh, hi, JoAnne. How ARE YOU?” (smile)
“I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m well. I haven’t seen you in so long.”
“Yes, you’re right.”
“What would you like?”
“I would like some chocolate, please?”
“Sure!”
“Victor, may I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“This may sound weird or strange, so I was a bit nervous to tell you and don’t want you to get offended.”
“Please don’t worry about that with me. Go ahead; it’s fine.”
“I was thinking about you.” (this is strange to me because I don’t think we’ve spoken enough for that to happen naturally)
“Ok.”
“And I wanted to tell you that I want to BE you. You’re everything that I would want to be in life, and I hope to become like you in terms of your character and nature and who you are.”
“uhhh. . .Wow. Yho! (South African word). Thanks so much. That’s super sweet. I really appreciate that. And I know that was hard to say not knowing what I would think or say, so I really appreciate you taking the time to share the compliment with me. Thanks so much.”
(we hug and she moves on. Poor girl, I think she was nervous)
It’s really sweet. I am better friends with one of her housemates with whom I worked on a kids camp with back in March (first month of autumn for us).
And that’s what I feel like these days. It’s like there’s been a shift in the focus in life, a move from self to others. It’s not a conscious one or anything. It’s just a natural self from investment to divestiture. Instead of investing in myself which still naturally occurs, I am now divesting myself out in a sense. That’s what it seems.
This is a Sunday night service at church. I have quietly slipped out early because my life group is serving coffee/tea/chocolate after church today (I have not been to a church that does not serve such drinks after services).
“Hi, Victor.”
“Oh, hi, JoAnne. How ARE YOU?” (smile)
“I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m well. I haven’t seen you in so long.”
“Yes, you’re right.”
“What would you like?”
“I would like some chocolate, please?”
“Sure!”
“Victor, may I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“This may sound weird or strange, so I was a bit nervous to tell you and don’t want you to get offended.”
“Please don’t worry about that with me. Go ahead; it’s fine.”
“I was thinking about you.” (this is strange to me because I don’t think we’ve spoken enough for that to happen naturally)
“Ok.”
“And I wanted to tell you that I want to BE you. You’re everything that I would want to be in life, and I hope to become like you in terms of your character and nature and who you are.”
“uhhh. . .Wow. Yho! (South African word). Thanks so much. That’s super sweet. I really appreciate that. And I know that was hard to say not knowing what I would think or say, so I really appreciate you taking the time to share the compliment with me. Thanks so much.”
(we hug and she moves on. Poor girl, I think she was nervous)
It’s really sweet. I am better friends with one of her housemates with whom I worked on a kids camp with back in March (first month of autumn for us).
And that’s what I feel like these days. It’s like there’s been a shift in the focus in life, a move from self to others. It’s not a conscious one or anything. It’s just a natural self from investment to divestiture. Instead of investing in myself which still naturally occurs, I am now divesting myself out in a sense. That’s what it seems.
HUMAN CONDITION II
Last update, I told about an emotional week in which a friend found her boyfriend (I’m not sure if that’s what he is) cheating with someone else [he had kissed another person and was inviting her for a weekend away], another friend admitted to being gay and having so many questions for God about unfairness and being dealt a bad deck of cards, another questioning the obligation/privilege/concept of tithing in church, another depressed clinically, another scared for his life should he have HIV, etc.
It really is a tough world. And it’s hard for me because I walk around and sense things. I’m sensitive to most things I perceive (somewhat redundant I know). I actually walk around and when I see a need or a hurt, I begin doing something to address. The problem is the enormity of the needs. There are too many. So many times there are needs I want to work on but I’m busy with other ones. I was working on an encouragement box for one person, letters for another, a gift for another, a poem for another, money for travel issues for another, faith questions for another, etc. The list goes on. It can be overwhelming. I’m specifically reminded of the girl suffering from depression.
I actually think I forgot to mention the depressed girl. I gave her a gift. It’s called an encouragement box. I had been making it for a few months with some breaks in between. But I finally finished it. I gave it to her at a time when she started taking another turn for the worse. She had been doing better but she was getting sad again. And people in her house and in her church life group didn’t know what to do. I was trying to tell her I’m fighting this with her, not just praying from some lofty place from afar, feeling empowered in my “prayers.” She hugged me and took the box which I explained would last for 100 down-days (not to be used when you feel great). So when I wrote that update, she had never mentioned it again. And I had to check myself because it was very easy to feel bad or like it had no effect because I am used to people being very appreciative (I’m even used to people just being happy to see me!). So perhaps she wasn’t. But even if she wasn’t, it was for her to help her.
Well, a week ago she spoke to me during a break in Saturday tutoring. She said she was SOOO thankful and really appreciated it. I couldn’t believe it. Moreover, she spoke and gave real input the last two Wednesday life group meetings. She seems to be picking back up from her latest dip that lasted a few months. So we’ll see how it goes, but it’s wonderful to see her smile and interact with people.
So for some reason, I’m at this stage where I hear a lot of questions from people looking for answers. I specifically mean that they are asking me directly. One person was asking me about prayer, another about identity, another about if Jesus ever claimed to be God, another asking what happens to us when we die. It goes on and on. Those are the most recent, but the tough one was this week when I met with the guy who admitted to me that he was homosexual. I was the first person that he had ever told and he told me over e-mail. Now we were meeting face to face after I asked him to write down all of these angry, confused questions he had for God. We were going to have an encounter with God, with each other, or with somebody: he wanted answers.
Well, he forgot the questions but he asked me things to my face. And he was not curious about whether homosexuality was “ok” or “fine.” No. He specifically wanted to know what the Christian God thought of it. Can two guys get married? Can two guys just date with no sexual intercourse? Moreover, he didn’t want to know what current Christian scholarship thought in all its colors; he wanted to know what the real true God thought (Christian God) represented in Jesus. In other words, he recognized that organized religion had often gone wrong by the interpretation of many people—Crusades, Inquisition, Witch Trials, Nazi Germany, apartheid, etc. But alongside all those movements there were always counter-cultural mystics and prophets who encapsulated the real Jesus: Dorothy Day, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Hildegard of Bingen, Francis of Assisi, Julian of Norwich, Mechthild of Magdeburg, Catherine of Genoa, Thomas Merton, Oscar Romero, Gandhi, Helder Camara, Dorothee Soelle, Mandela, MLK, etc. Even with their faults they spoke out against the atrocities of their time.
So it’s against this faith tradition that I’m supposed to authoritatively answer his questions. Thankfully there was a guy called Socrates who lived and taught me about answering questions with questions. My Nigerian culture has also taught me about that, too, much to the chagrin of my mother. So he was able to start exploring those answers by answering questions he felt comfortable about. I did speak a little.
Yesterday (Saturday the 12th) I was happy that my friend called me. He had a question about identity and which identity he should prioritized, but it’s nicer to do it on the phone. Thanks, T.
It really is a tough world. And it’s hard for me because I walk around and sense things. I’m sensitive to most things I perceive (somewhat redundant I know). I actually walk around and when I see a need or a hurt, I begin doing something to address. The problem is the enormity of the needs. There are too many. So many times there are needs I want to work on but I’m busy with other ones. I was working on an encouragement box for one person, letters for another, a gift for another, a poem for another, money for travel issues for another, faith questions for another, etc. The list goes on. It can be overwhelming. I’m specifically reminded of the girl suffering from depression.
I actually think I forgot to mention the depressed girl. I gave her a gift. It’s called an encouragement box. I had been making it for a few months with some breaks in between. But I finally finished it. I gave it to her at a time when she started taking another turn for the worse. She had been doing better but she was getting sad again. And people in her house and in her church life group didn’t know what to do. I was trying to tell her I’m fighting this with her, not just praying from some lofty place from afar, feeling empowered in my “prayers.” She hugged me and took the box which I explained would last for 100 down-days (not to be used when you feel great). So when I wrote that update, she had never mentioned it again. And I had to check myself because it was very easy to feel bad or like it had no effect because I am used to people being very appreciative (I’m even used to people just being happy to see me!). So perhaps she wasn’t. But even if she wasn’t, it was for her to help her.
Well, a week ago she spoke to me during a break in Saturday tutoring. She said she was SOOO thankful and really appreciated it. I couldn’t believe it. Moreover, she spoke and gave real input the last two Wednesday life group meetings. She seems to be picking back up from her latest dip that lasted a few months. So we’ll see how it goes, but it’s wonderful to see her smile and interact with people.
So for some reason, I’m at this stage where I hear a lot of questions from people looking for answers. I specifically mean that they are asking me directly. One person was asking me about prayer, another about identity, another about if Jesus ever claimed to be God, another asking what happens to us when we die. It goes on and on. Those are the most recent, but the tough one was this week when I met with the guy who admitted to me that he was homosexual. I was the first person that he had ever told and he told me over e-mail. Now we were meeting face to face after I asked him to write down all of these angry, confused questions he had for God. We were going to have an encounter with God, with each other, or with somebody: he wanted answers.
Well, he forgot the questions but he asked me things to my face. And he was not curious about whether homosexuality was “ok” or “fine.” No. He specifically wanted to know what the Christian God thought of it. Can two guys get married? Can two guys just date with no sexual intercourse? Moreover, he didn’t want to know what current Christian scholarship thought in all its colors; he wanted to know what the real true God thought (Christian God) represented in Jesus. In other words, he recognized that organized religion had often gone wrong by the interpretation of many people—Crusades, Inquisition, Witch Trials, Nazi Germany, apartheid, etc. But alongside all those movements there were always counter-cultural mystics and prophets who encapsulated the real Jesus: Dorothy Day, Catherine of Siena, Teresa of Avila, Hildegard of Bingen, Francis of Assisi, Julian of Norwich, Mechthild of Magdeburg, Catherine of Genoa, Thomas Merton, Oscar Romero, Gandhi, Helder Camara, Dorothee Soelle, Mandela, MLK, etc. Even with their faults they spoke out against the atrocities of their time.
So it’s against this faith tradition that I’m supposed to authoritatively answer his questions. Thankfully there was a guy called Socrates who lived and taught me about answering questions with questions. My Nigerian culture has also taught me about that, too, much to the chagrin of my mother. So he was able to start exploring those answers by answering questions he felt comfortable about. I did speak a little.
Yesterday (Saturday the 12th) I was happy that my friend called me. He had a question about identity and which identity he should prioritized, but it’s nicer to do it on the phone. Thanks, T.
RESEARCH & JOBS
My time/fellowship is almost up, and I feel like I haven’t done much. I’m still working on the testing of the blood flow model inside of arteries. But now each day I’m supposed to be applying to one job for the end of next year 2009. I’m a week behind, but I’ll catch up.
I’ve also started lecturing again. After spring break, I am lecturing the second half of the second semester (or the fourth quarter)—just one course. But it’s new material from my own notes so it takes some work. The students are masters students and they don’t understand the text that I had to use for the first week (the first guy didn’t finish his section, so I am finishing it for him, though I don’t really use the material in my work; so I’m learning with the students).
Lastly the Bill Gates Foundation replied declining the proposal. Though they don’t give individual feedback they did give general feedback that was not given before hand (I mean the general comments would have been useful before hand). It tells the way in which winning proposals were framed, shaped, written. There is a round two and HIV is still a part of it. So I will submit again by November for the $100,000 seed money grant. In the meantime, the axiom (by me) that says the slowest way to find an opportunity is to offer to volunteer. Not a single HIV/AIDS person has welcomed any free help. So I go it alone. Most people also don’t have time for you in terms of questions. That’s it would be nice if I had a friend who worked in the area. I would just call him up.
People still ask me about the NASA timeline, so I’ve included it below. Thanks, Mark. In short, I don’t know what I’m doing next year since many are asking.
http://www.nasajobs.nasa.gov/astronauts/content/timeline.htm
I’ve also started lecturing again. After spring break, I am lecturing the second half of the second semester (or the fourth quarter)—just one course. But it’s new material from my own notes so it takes some work. The students are masters students and they don’t understand the text that I had to use for the first week (the first guy didn’t finish his section, so I am finishing it for him, though I don’t really use the material in my work; so I’m learning with the students).
Lastly the Bill Gates Foundation replied declining the proposal. Though they don’t give individual feedback they did give general feedback that was not given before hand (I mean the general comments would have been useful before hand). It tells the way in which winning proposals were framed, shaped, written. There is a round two and HIV is still a part of it. So I will submit again by November for the $100,000 seed money grant. In the meantime, the axiom (by me) that says the slowest way to find an opportunity is to offer to volunteer. Not a single HIV/AIDS person has welcomed any free help. So I go it alone. Most people also don’t have time for you in terms of questions. That’s it would be nice if I had a friend who worked in the area. I would just call him up.
People still ask me about the NASA timeline, so I’ve included it below. Thanks, Mark. In short, I don’t know what I’m doing next year since many are asking.
http://www.nasajobs.nasa.gov/astronauts/content/timeline.htm
SCIENCE
Speaking of medicine and science, the science community is buzzing with the preliminary results of the super-collisions at CERN in Switzerland. After listening to a travesty about it on BBC radio, I realized this is actually interesting to people. People think it’s interesting to find “wormholes” in space-time, some sort of tear or break in the space-time continuum that allows people to travel in time. Funny enough, I came across the term first in science fiction. I wonder if scientists use it. I know some do.
But these guys are looking for a particle predicted by a retired physicist named Higgs (whose original 1-page paper was first rejected by CERN for publication; Higgs rewrote the paper by adding a few equations). This particle, the Higgs boson (the “God particle”) is supposed to help answer a lot of questions in particle physics:
Does mass come from the Higgs boson? (Right now, subatomic particles like quarks don’t seem to have mass but we know particles that are made from quarks have masses (like protons))
Why is gravity so much weaker than the other three fundamental forces: weak force, strong force, electromagnetic force?
What is the nature of dark matter and dark energy?
Is there really supersymmetry in nature (do all known particles have a supersymmetric partner-particle?
Are there extra dimensions (as predicted by string theory)?
So far all that’s happened is the firing of the first beams of protons clockwise around the accelerator and counterclockwise around the accelerator. And it was successful. So the actual first high energy collisions will be about two months later (6-8 weeks). And they expect to run collisions for three years to build up enough statistically sound evidence to say the Higgs boson exists if they are able to generate it. They believe it will be generated every few hours. But again, you’ll need a lot of data (and it happening again and again and again) before they say with statistical soundness that is the elusive or mythical Higgs boson.
Stephen Hawking believes it doesn’t exist. And so we will see.
So here we are again, going deeper on another quest. My guess is that science will never learn or find all because, strangely enough, the way the universe is created each discovery brings even more new questions than the ones it answered. And given that I remember the time that the rate of knowledge (across all fields) in the entire world used to double every seven years, though now it’s less than two years, I think science will be ever-reaching.
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