JOBS

So I'm not sure for what I will apply. I actually had a friend tell me she honestly felt I would make a greater impact teaching K-12 than doing HIV research or research in general. I absolutely feel that way with some of the projects here in my lab (sometimes we do things that are not really impacting the world in any way), but I am not sure about the statement.

Anyway, she showed me a site about the wonderful work they are doing in New Orleans, completely chartering it up. I really hope the whole state of Louisiana is also receiving that love.

http://www.nsno.org/
http://www.tepcharter.org/



The second site is one about a school opening in New York that will finally pay teachers something closer to what they deserve (still not enough), give them paid sabbaticals every 5th year, allow them to teach only 1 course/subject and give ample time during the day for preparation work. It is one of those all-day schools so good luck with that.

I really love Engineers without Borders and wish they offered permanent positions. The Canadian EWB has a volunteering position like Peace Corps but less time.

http://my.ewb.ca/volunteering/volunteering

I think if I stayed in this kind of work, I would like to either do relief/development work for a non-profit, multi-national, or an ngo or be a professor who applied his research to socially impacting work like development (including public health).

COOL RESEARCH

Well, I will tell you what. What? Every time I try to submit a grant for the Gates Foundation Grand Challenges Exploration, something happens to get in the way. This time my adapter cord broke and could not send power to the laptop. On it are some important pieces of writing (one very large) including this grant application.

Thankfully Melissa gave me a USB case in which you place your hard drive and you can plug it into another computer to read. Unfortunately it would take just as long to get the hard drive out with the knife I was using as it would to rewrite it (it's 2 pages max). Plus I had to go to church in a few minutes since my life group was ushering (greeting at the door, you also normally do tithe but it was a walk-up-and-put-in-your-own-tithes/offering-in-the-basket-lazy! day). Then Anna called a house meeting which might have been mostly to tell me stuff since she dates Radesh.

I can't explain it but I rewrote it from memory and scratch and sent it in. I don't think it was as good as the original, but oh well. We will see. The interesting part about Round 2 for new grant seekers and those who were rejected from Round 1 like me, they actually told us the format to put it in and how they wanted to see (perhaps they did for Round 1 and I missed it that time). Either way it helped me GREATLY because now I could give them what they wanted. One of the things was a budget which led to my absolute best and favorite academic moment/conversation in my entire time here in South Africa.

In order to create a budget I needed to know how much it would cost to create a 3D model of an HIV virion (virus particle) for my project. To do this I needed SEM (Scanning Electron Microscope/Microscopy) or TEM (Transmission Electron Microscope/Microscopy) images—we call them electron micrographs. This microscopes use electrons to create images of things that are really small like cells, for instance, or in my case a virus particle. The problem is that I have no idea how to obtain samples of HIV, the price to obtain it, and the price to use SEM's and TEM's to create the images. So I asked people.

Now, remember I never wanted to venture in this area by myself. The problem is everyone is too busy and self-focused or not interested in helping or in the educational side to help someone like me. They either say no, don't respond, or push me off to someone else. After 4 months (September through December 2007), I just decided to go it alone and do what I wanted.

Here I am ready to move to an experimental stage, looking for funding to do so, and I need to get a budget. So again, I have to reach out to people. I found that the best EM (electron micrograph) unit in SA is on the UCT campus. I e-mailed three members of the staff, one of them being the director. He was livid—well, agitated. He called my research lab wanting to speak to my supervisor but luckily the receptionist said he was busy (He is, he is a temporary deputy vice chancellor [vice president] of some portfolio for the university) and was in a meeting. She suggested that he talk to me. I was out.

I returned and she gave the message. I called him and got his lab. They gave me his cell and I called him; he suggested I came in to “set your mind straight.” Perhaps he was agitated. What proceeded was pure joy.

The grant I'm applying for is ONLY for unorthodox, untried, “off-the-beaten-path” ideas. If you are doing incremental research no mainstream thought, forget about it. And I love Gates's mind of the mind of his foundation's administrative people. They are attempted to fund creativity because they know where the most creativity is, there you will find breakthroughs. And I love creativity. It's what I do and know. That's why research CAN be amazing.

So when someone won't give you information without you first telling what you want it for, it can be hard. I wasn't sure I should tell him because some people think what I'm trying is silly. But he asked me why do I want to take micrographs; he kept saying “so what” or “why”. He said it 3 times. After the third time I finally explained in a nice way at which point he began to ponder this romantically. I mean he actually engaged in brainstorming conversation about how to do what I wanted to do which he thought was impossible but nice. So it started at agitation and proceeding into the most wonderful fun conversation where he gave me information on protein databases and authors to read though it's impossible. THIS is what I had been trying to do all along-just have a conversation (that eventually leads to some work) with someone who can help me. And here I was with a structural biologist talking about structural biology, molecular biochemistry and nano-biophysics. It was nice. Unfortunately the fire alarm rang and made us end it early (it would probably have ended soon anyway). Give me MORE of these moments (that hopefully lead to breakthroughs that help people)!!!

BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH – Go Oprah!

It's the number one cancer for white and Asian women and the number two for black and coloured women. So it's a big deal here in South Africa. Of course, the relative development of South Africa allows it to focus on such (you can't go to Malawi and talk about breast cancer, can you?).

We have under 4,000 (the 2001 figure is 3800) diagnosed cases a year, so it's a concern for the population here. I've told you before that Oprah is huge. And apparently her magazine, Harpo, is big here. It has it's own South African version run by an entire South African magazine staff over. In face, South Africa has many version of US pop-culture magazines. Harpo is doing its part to boost awareness and make sure people are educated about breast cancer.

As a woman (whether you have it your family history or not) make sure you conduct self-breast exams regularly, receive regular mammograms, and educate yourself about early diagnosis and possible treatment options.

SEX and the CITY

We are marching on with our Sex and the City series at church.

http://www.jubilee.org.za/



There is one last installment, sermon 6, on homosexuality. It is actually the 2nd talk on homosexuality since he did the first two weeks ago (we have had 2 non-series sermons inside of the series because of events at church).

Now as you remember he has an sms system where people sms questions during the service to an anonymous phone bought by the church. Someone works at a computer at the sound desk and puts related and representative questions into Power Point. These are asks to the pastor with no preparation and he answers them on the spot after a 5 minute break at the end of the service.

Now, he says things about which I differ. And that's ok. He has said things with which different people disagree. But it has always been a minority. And people usually mention it later. When a slide went up (during the sexual brokenness talk – talk #3) asking about women and modesty in dress, he answered them quickly. He said women dress immodestly in the church. But then the final question on the slide was interesting. If I am a woman and I wear a miniskirt (or something related to that) am I responsible for causing men to sin or lust or stumble? We all thought he will say no. She is not RESPONSIBLE for causing him to stumble. Or she does not CAUSE him to stumble. But he actually said, “Actually, yes. You are responsible.” The difference this time was that the difference of opinion was now a majority of the people and it was audible in his face. “Yho!” “Uuuuuuuu” “Ai!” “ouch” “serrrriOUS” “No!” I felt bad for him, but strangely enough he wasn't phased at all and made no reaction to the noise. He didn't even respond further.

The hard part for me is that the answers to the question seem to be his views which I don't mind, but it should be presented as such instead of right/wrong. He is a hardliner and that's good, but truth is still required to say this is “what I think is best” or the “best method to avoid that”. But that's not that worrying. The hard part for me is that he answers questions (which I do all the time, as well). What do I mean? I mean that I tend to answer questions with questions (my life group hates this but they understand). It's a bit more powerful when the person reaches the answer on their own. Now when these students ask these questions “May I masturbate?” “Can I sleep at my boyfriend's house even if we do nothing?” “I'm dating a guy and we have had sex; should I break up with him?” “Is it ok to fantasize about your spouse?” etc.---people are asking for answers. But answers are not enough. When he tells the people that masturbation is wrong because it's a question of lust and he doesn't think you can do it without lusting, fine. But if that's it, you've opened up a can of worms. You are just giving the people more rules, a greater lists of do's and don't's. All I have done when I have answered such a question is to help the person feel guilty now when he or she does it. I have done nothing to equip or enable the person to follow the rule I have set. Do you see the difference. So what? I know now I am not supposed to do something; now what? I still have a desire to do it. I am no better off. I just know I am wrong when I do it.

So the problem is more rules, more lists. Instead we should be giving people a heart and a desire and to get them living on God so naturally that they do the right thing not because of a rule or list but because something is inside of them, someONE is inside of them causing it, making right living come naturally. There's an analogy a 1st century Jewish Rabbi and prophet used about vines and branches. Branches don't do a single thing to produce grapes. It's the vine that takes the nutrients from the ground and creates this life giving sap that it flows to the branches which produce grapes. The only thing the branch does is stay connected to the vine, live with the vine, dwell/remain connected in the vine.

Still I appreciate the sermon series. He's a good guy, my pastor, and he's doing something that is long overdue. His heart is in the right place. And it most importantly has people talking especially life groups. Remember people have come to me with such questions like being a virgin and marrying someone who is not or homosexuality. People are talking, engaging, and learning hopefully.



The hard part for me is that the friend who I am talking to about homosexuality made this statement. Cape Town Christians and our pastor have no ability to reach the homosexual population in Cape Town. That saddened me because of Christ was around, some of the people he would be hanging with on the streets would be homosexuals because they can be or tend to be marginalized (at least here). And he's all about he marginalized. I'm not sure when the church lost this.

So the sermon series has been a bit frustrating for him because it sometimes refers to sexuality but implicitly means sex or virginity depending on the context of the sentence. But the use of it in the sermons has sometimes fallen short of the holistic definition. In other words, my friend doesn't need to know that Christian laws/rules/lists forbid homosexual intercourse: he knows that. He needs help with how to live with that. He has prayed and it has not been taken away (some Christian former-homosexuals claim that God has delivered them from it and it is gone; they are heterosexual; this is not the case with him). So now how do I live? What can I do? Am I allowed to date?

Now when asked that question, Steve, my pastor might (pure conjecture) say “No, you cannot date.”
My approach is to ask this “What's the purpose of dating?” My friend goes on to think about it and what it's for, in his mind, and if what it leads to brings him back to marriage or sexual intercourse. I haven't said a word. I'm just asking questions. There's a difference.

That was the hard part in the series for me. In the Sexual brokenness talk, my pastor painted a picture that everyone was a soldier with an AK-47 and hand grenades on each hip with paint under the eyes and a hard helmet. And you must blow up every thought, desire. If you are at the doctor's office turn over magazines. When you walk down the street look the other way. It goes on and on. And it's good and helpful to a point. It's teaching self-control based on avoidance (a Joseph-approach). It works when you can avoid it. But it doesn't teach self-control when you can't avoid it and might leave one ill-equipped. Worse, it painted the picture of asexual beings until marriage. Watch this. Someone asked the powerful question (so powerful it was put up on the Power Point screen alone with no similar questions), “So if I remain single all my life am I supposed to forget about my sexuality? Am I not a sexual being?” Why did the person ask that? I believe it was the image that was being portrayed in the talks. Thankfully the pastor correctly said we are sexual beings and we don't just become sexual beings when we get married. Just honor God in your single-hood as well as in your marriage. The problem is that he never taught the students how to deal healthily and positively with sexual energy (See movie section on Choke). He only tells how to avoid. And it doesn't work. He tells how to deal with sexual energy in the 4th talk on Sex in marriage; he loved that talk because he seems to like sex with his wife very much. But he misses the holistic view of God and your sexuality before hand.

So strangely enough, for my friend asking questions about homosexuality, I suggested a book called “Sex God” by Rob Bell which never mentions homosexuality at all but defines sexuality and spirituality so well that it does implicitly. In trying to be active in the church and meet people, my friend started working at the book store. So he asked his boss for the book. She saw the title and thought, “Wow, 'SEX GOD!' I should order a whole bunch for all the students during this Sex and the City series.” She does. Somehow the lead pastor finds out about it, and asks to read it. He completely rejects it and tells her to return them all. He doesn't want them in the bookstore. She saved a copy for my friend. When I found out I was bothered and prayed to calm down a bit (my friend told me during the music at church). It actually is a great book for him. My pastor talks about us not being animals; we have self control. Rob says that, too. Moreover, Rob says we're not angels—we have a physicality and sexuality from God. Being human is learning to live healthily with the tension of not being animals or angels but occupying this unique place in all of creation. This part is missing in our series. Rob also talks about how to healthily deal with your sexual energy (Shane Claiborne is a great example).

It's been quite interesting. In Christianity, people tend to be on a spectrum in relation to truth and grace. My pastor (the lead pastor) is a truth guy. He follows in the footsteps of Mark Driscoll from Seattle who left the emergent movement and is a big named in the New Reformed movement (remember the update section on Christianity Today). He's not really good with grace. He does try, and he does try to bring it in. But I think it would be hard for someone to be counseled by him. As counselors, one of our aims is to speak the truth in love. Without love you are lost and are nothing but a resounding gong or a clanging symbol even if the clangs and noise you make happen to be truth. Good luck.
(to be fair it works the other way, too; all grace and no truth makes you quite culturally “in” but devoid of anything that is supposed to set you apart according to your beliefs; historically the problem has usually been truth and no grace).

I remember going to a final dinner in an Alpha course (a course for non-Christians who are interested in finding out about it). My pastor spoke and sat our table to eat. There is one inquisitive guy in the group. I was there only because (did I tell this story before or not? I'm unsure) the facilitator for this one group asked me to pray for her group. I came to meet them. So this one inquisitive guy starts drilling the pastor during our discussion time after the talk. The guy could not understand how God can know everything especially the future and at the same time we have free choice. They went back and forth, the rest of us just watching, afraid to join in (at least me). Finally my pastor just said that the Bible says both are true. God is omniscient. And we we have free will. That's it; that's all. We believe both. The problem is that people may not come from the standpoint that what is in the Bible is true, especially in an Alpha course. I decided to step in (my pastor [lead pastor] and I are around the same age; strangely he's the youngest elder/pastor but when the lead pastor died almost 2 years ago, he got the job). I explained to the guy a few things about faith. I won't write it all to you now as I'm working on a writing project on faith, but I just said that I was very happy and glad that he had doubts. Doubt is a good thing. Faith doesn't exist without (I explained more), and doubt leads to faith. It can lead to faith, anyway, not necessarily away from it. Anyone without doubt probably doesn't have true faith. So that's great. I also explained that every answer to every question will probably bring up even more new questions (which he agreed with). I said being human is the ability to be comfortable with that discomfort, to live in the uncomfortable tension of not knowing it all and never getting to that stage. That's the strange place we have been given to occupy. I said some more, but he nodded and didn't say a word after it. We were able to go on with our discussion. He always had something to say after my pastor's words. I just thought working on dual paradoxical truths of the Bible wouldn't work for him; he's coming from somewhere else.

Looking forward to Homosexuality II this Sunday.

COUNSELING

I'm in full-fledged counseling now at church. We outreach to the community. I usually work half-days on Mondays but Mondays are slow days because everyone is off since church staff work on Sundays. Only the finance guy, the graphics guy, receptionist, and one nurse is on duty. Even the clinic is not open (no doctor), and most counseling people come for both the clinic and counseling. So we don't get much business (it's free). I've only seen on HIV-counseling patient. Others have been life counseling if at all. Today I have a second male HIV-counseling patient. So we'll see how it goes. They called me in because they wanted a male even though today (voting Tuesday in the States) is not my day to volunteer. I've also started the crisis pregnancy self-modules. So we'll see how fast that goes. I'm almost done with the worksheets they gave me for two weeks (they are writing the curriculum as they go).

BLOG ACTION DAY – POVERTY - October 15, 2008

This is a day where all blog writers around the world write on the same topic in an effort to incite
and encourage a conversation about the particular topic chosen that year. This year it is poverty.
My friend, Nathanael, sitting next to me is saying write now "I have a dream. I have a dream
that one day all blog writers around the world. . ." He's making fun of me and what I'm writing.
Back to the subject.
There is so much you can say about poverty. But what's on my mind right now is this concept of liberation theology.
The older I get the more I hear about liberation theology in different places around the world. It always
amazes me how it has caught on as I always thought of it originating in the Latin American struggle
for independence and meaning under European oppression. To be honest, the original liberation theologists
were the Jewish people during their 400 years of servitude under Egyptian rule.
One of the concepts of liberation theology is God's "preferential option for the poor." Albert Nolan,
a South African theologian and writer, finds the phrase funny because he says it's not really
a preference. It just means God sides with the poor, the down-and-out, the homeless,
the sick (any of this sound like anyone you know?),
the imprisoned, the ex-con, the prostitute, the pimp (anything familiar yet), the marginalized, the forgotten,
the untouchables, los desaparecidos, the invisible (have you seen people like this?), the lower class,
the despicable, the disease-stricken, the ostracized, the quarantined (anything yet), the foreigner, the
stranger, the widow, the orphan, the homosexual, the least of these. This is plain to see.
But what do we do with poverty around us especially in this great competition between capitalism
and communism? You see it's hard to have an actual even-sided debate on capitalism and socialism
and communism in the U.S. because there is a strong revulsion against communism in the United
States. But the amazing thing is that they both fought and fight for the same thing--freedom! Both
have the same end--to free people. Listen to me carefully here. The greatest failure, downfall, and mistake
of communism is not in its ideal and hope; its greatest mistake was that it forced people to share.
Did you catch that? Let me repeat: the failure of communism is that it forced people to share.
And people don't want to share.
This is especially true in rich countries. If you stand up and talk about some type of wealth
distribution or way to help the poor with money, in the US people label you as a communist
or a socialist. This greatly bothers me because such name-callers are trying to label people
with a term that sounds bad; it has a negative connotation. But what is the heart of the
person being called a communist: she wants to help the poor. Why is she being called
a communist or a socialist? People don't want to share. Communism forced this.
But we live in a time where the highest value in the Western societies is individualism.
I did it my way. I did it on my own. I did it myself with good, hard work. And good hard
work is wonderful, but we have lost the communal aspect and the communal identity (key
word) of age-old societies and of a simpler life. We're in a time of hyper-capitalism if you will.
Why should I share what I worked hard for on my own? I earned it. Besides that poor person
is a drunk.
Did you know that a preferential option for the poor actually means God sides with the poor
and the marginalized, the widow and the orphan, the ostracized and the unloved automatically?
Watch this. A preferential option for the poor means the side of the poor is just (always right)
no matter the morals, education, or state of a particular poor person. A preferential option
for the poor also means the side of the rich is unjust (always the wrong side) no matter how unaware
or sincere rich people are.
That's a lot to take in. We often discriminate between people and decide not to help poor people
because of their state, their lack of education, their motivation, their alcohol or drug content, etc.
Preferential option for the poor is not dependent on that. Moreover, how many rich people (or
just well off people) do we know that are not AWARE that the policies and actions benefit
themselves but not the "least of these," the marginalized. Even if the rich people are sincere,
it doesn't mean favoring them over the poor is just. Even if the rich people don't even know they
are rich (like some of us). For me, one of the unknown shortcomings about Clinton's presidency
was the favoring of the middle class but no plan or greater emphasis for the lower class. That's
why it's hard for a Jon Edwards to get elected though he focused on the lower classes: the poor
do not have a voice. They have the lowest percentage of registration and voter turn-out.
They need a voice and an advocate.
So communism forces people to share. Capitalism ignores them all together. In neither
case do people want to share, whether forced (communism) or not (capitalism).
One of the things I have been re-excited about is Jesus. I have been studying him but not
the usual, banal, overdone, hackneyed studies. I'm really delving into the Politics of Jesus,
the Economics of Jesus, the Spirituality of Jesus, the Holistic Healing of Jesus, etc. In Christianity
if you begin to question that God is for all the people listed above, the people on the fringes of
society without a voice, without hope, and without help, one is supposed to look at Jesus because
he is considered God incarnate. We believe he was and is God. So when we see his heart we see God's heart.
I didn't realize how truly amazing he was. Am I allowed to say that? I mean people tell you,
but you don't get the full import or impact until you travel back in time and enter his context.
He truly brought a revolution, an "upside-down" revolution as many people term it. And do you
know what? I think it was genuine. Take a look at what a 1st century doctor
recorded about his followers after his death.

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
So that's what I've come to realize is so amazing. He did was capitalism ignored and communism forced--people shared, and they shared of
their own free will.
So when discussing the troubles of Uganda with my students in 2007, I asked if all this war, hate, rape, etc. attributable to governments, institutions, conditions (meaning you can change and end it all by putting in place systems and good governance) or will it always be here because it's not a problem of countries and governments it's a problem of the human condition (meaning it's an individual problem with being human). Some said it was not an individual problem; these were just bad countries and institutions that needed better laws and better institutions. Others said it's a problem with humans.
May I say what it is though you may disagree? It's a problem of the human condition. All of us who work in development and aid and relief know that we can never wipe out war and gang rape and crime and abuse and child soldiers with laws and good judges and our work alone. Even if we change the hearts of a few people, new people will rise up and take their place. New people come into office. People replace people. It's an individual human problem. And the only way to solve it is a revolution
on an individual basis. That's what Jesus did. He didn't use government. He just loved people, and it spread. You have to change individual people. And as long as you don't reach all the people in the world, new people unreached will come into their place and we will still have the same problems.






This is an upside-down revolution, one person at a time, but if it catches, it's like no other. Shane Claiborne said it best--Jess's revolution makes capitalism obsolete and communism unnecessary.
But it's not enough to talk about the need to work for those on the fringes. What do we do now?

WORLD FOOD DAY – October 16, 2008

Most of the hunger today is related to poverty. So one way to do something for the poor is to help with hunger. With under a billion people lacking access to safe, clean drinking water and over 900 million go hungry each day, about the same number. There is much to be done whether internationally or in our own backyards.

I was downtown on Saturday (the 1st of November) after a canceled sunset cruise and I saw a homeless girl. I smiled because I knew her from before. It's weird to say but it was good to still see her on the street, to know she was alive and kicking. We went through our routine again. We walked to the store and I bought her cornflakes and milk. This time she needed tampons. She was embarrassed about this so when the clerk rang the order up, she put them under her shirt. When that didn't fit she put it in the sleeve of her jersey (sweatshirt in the U.S.). The first time we met, she smiled when she realized I was an American. People like Americans. . .well some people do. She did. Though she needs an immediate temporary solution, she also needs a permanent one as well. Again I'm not sure what to do about her.

But there are things you can do. One of my favorite groups (definitely not the only one, and in no way will I call them the best) is World Vision.

http://www.worldvision.org/
http://donate.worldvision.org/
http://www.bread.org/

I love their heart. So check them out, and if you would like to give give.

There are some things you can do.



You can donate.
You can give monthly support.
You can sponsor a specific child.
You can start a food drive or a hunger drive.
You can organize an awareness campaign at your work or school.
You can host a hunger night in your community and speak or invite people to come and speak.

The list goes on. Get creative.

Here are some facts and figures on hunger:
http://www.bread.org/learn/hunger-basics/hunger-factsinternational.html